A guide to surviving Organic chemistry

It is weird how walking into a class on the first day you already have a feeling about the class, the professor, your classmates, and your semester. It almost makes you want to run away screaming and bumping into anyone you meet on your quest to find the nearest exit to save your life. This is exactly how I felt the first day I walked into my Organic chemistry class. I thought well… it is the beginning of the semester and you generally feel that way… adding a tad- bit of nostalgia especially if you had an epic summer like the one I had. Anyway… you assume that the dizziness-fainting type of symptoms you experience (coupled with nausea) upon entering the class will get away as time passes. Trust me… you are so wrong it will fade but it will constantly haunt you and around exams time be as virulent as the flu!

 

 

Some people say that organic chemistry is not hard. Well it is not if you are Asian, or if chemistry is your major (then it better not be hard otherwise you are oh-so screwed!)  or if you really are into this type of topics meaning if you reaaaaally reaaaaally reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaally like chem, then maybe it will not be hard (at least for the first couple of classes). Wait until you get into the whole fischer projection , SN1, SN2, E1, E2 mechanisms with regiospecificity or stereochemistry… you are going to feel like your instructor is speaking everything besides English.

 

 

 

I like to define orgo as another language and it truly is another language. You have to learn how to “speak” organic chemistry and boy this has nothing to do with learning Spanish or whatever. Of course it demands a lot of practice like learning any other language does. But at least, you can incorporate languages into you daily life. With organic the reality can be cruel and oh-so rude: forget your dream of having a life when school is in session, train your body to sleep a minimal amount of hours, be prepared to the fact that your stress level is going to be sky-rocketing during these next 4 months you will be taking it. You will eat, breathe, talk organic chemistry, you will dream about it. In one word it will oversaturate your life and ruin it. That’s how you will know that you are doing well in that class.

 

 

 

I got fooled by my professors saying “Organic is not hard, you just have to put in the time, but most importantly you should not dread it”. I was so gullible… ORGANIC IS HARD! Especially that it is not the only class you will be taking! But! Don’t get overstressed or overscared… just dread it enough to keep up with your work and read your notes and your book and you can be guaranteed that you are increasing your chances of passing the class. Passing with a good grade is a whole other level I was aiming at the beginning of the semester but I realized that I wasn’t being realistic: I had to rescale my expectations and aim for more realistic goals. One thing you should never ever EVER do though is miss a class and if you do, PLEASE, I BEG YOU get notes from someone else and catch up with your work. Because if you do fall behind guess what happens? Well… you're screwed. and don't even think about locking yourself in your room the night before your final thinking you can catch up a whole semester worth of work. Very bad idea. How do I know? I tried...

 

 

Do you feel stressed after reading this? If yes then good! That adrenaline will boost you and turn you into the superman (superwoman) of organic chemistry. It will be hard but at the end your efforts will pay and maybe somewhere along the way you will have as much fun as I had taking organic chemistry.

Signed: a survivor of organic chemistry

Make it meaningful

Thanksgiving: a time to gather around, forgive, share love and happiness, make memories but above all, a time to be thankful for what we are, what we have, what the Lord gave us. A great moment that cheers up your soul and warm your heart as you get around the people you love, those who mean “the world” to you.

Such wonderful feelings that suddenly seem to fade as the shadows take over: Paul Walker is gone. Many have known him, some people haven’t. I haven’t personally known him but if you grew up in a house where fast and furious was part of your culture (not education, there is a difference), then of course you would feel heartbroken and have, at least for a minute, your stomach upside down and your mind all over the place. We could spend years asking why, wondering what happen, trying to convince ourselves that this is not happening but it is and only God knows why and he will always and forever be the only one that has the final word and final version on how this tragic accident happened.

As I have been online myself, trying to understand what happened, I have seen a lot of controversy and debates over the victims death’s, a lot of people making some comment that are insulting, rude and disrespectful to Paul Walker but mostly to his family and friends still trying to cope with this event. He was young (40 is definitely not old), he was an experimented driver (and so was his friend driving the Porsche), he had life ahead of him and I do not believe he had ever thought this would ever happen to him but guess what it did.

This maybe is a time to remember that we do not have all life in front of us: at anytime our life can be taken away and we should make a good use of it. We are not the masters of our fate although we surely play a role into shaping it and determining what it will look like. All the testimony I have heard from him talk about how great of a person he was: dedicated, hardworking, down to earth, always helping others, bringing such a positive energy around him and sharing love with his family, friends, co-workers and reaching out to people in need. He seemed to be a great persona and seemed to have made a great use of his life.

This is probably what we should be working on too as this reminds us that life is never long enough and we never have enough time to do good and share the love with our loved ones. Tomorrow does not belong to us. As a matter of fact we might not even see tomorrow because we are not the absolute masters of our lives, of our fate. As much as we want to live our life to the fullest and enjoy every single bit of it, we ought to do is wisely, we ought to do it through things that are worth being done so that when we are gone, we leave behind us a legacy that will keep us alive in the heart and memory of people we love.

"As we are few weeks away from this New Year, we want to remember those of us who were gone too soon. At the image of this candle, we want to let the memories we have of them enlighten our way darkened by tears and sorrows and their everlasting love warm up our hearts left out in the cold of their absences"

"Bullying Awareness month: Remember Felicia "

“I had to stay weak, and stay silent, because if i say one logical thing I shall be teased until the last breath.”                                        Yasmeen Khair

That might have been the reason why she couldn’t take it anymore, the reason why she gave up on that fight more almost one year ago.

Her name was Felicia Garcia. She was 15 years old and died throwing herself under a train October October 25, 2012. She was a victim of bullying and from what has been said, people responsible for defending her rights, being her voice when she was too weak to rise strong in front of the ones assaulting her emotionally, people who had had the power to stop this mind game didn’t do it. Felicia Garcia was tired of people teasing her, picking on her. She was exhausted by the pulling of people on her emotions who were already weak from a life that had already taken too much of her happiness away from her. She wanted to find peace, to go somewhere she would finally get some rest and drop that burden she was carrying once for good.

People usually say when they tease you “ I am joking” or “it is just a little teasing game” but they don’t know how much the words hurt, how long they stay in your mind and haunt you everyday and every night. They don’t know how it feels to hear them day after day, to be weakened, belittled, and treated as if you are worth nothing. They don’t know how it feels to put a mask and smile everyday, pretend that everything is alright and that their words can’t break you when truly deep down, every single word they pronounce is like a hammer that breaks you and leaves you in pieces. They don’t know that until the day she died, until that day those words pushed her to the breaking point and made her end this mind game by taking away her own life.

A lot of things are being done to help people have better lives: medicare, assistance for ill people, financial aid, opportunity, counseling, fight against hunger, cancer and so one. but really how much is being done to stop bullying? So many teen already lost their lives trying to stand against the reluctant bullying they were subjected to:

“Bart Palosz A 15-year-old Connecticut boy who committed suicide after his first day of school last week underwent years of bullying and published increasing warning signs on social media before his death” reason? bullying

“Jadin Bell, 15, a sophomore at La Grande High, was found hanging from playground equipment at a grade school two weeks ago.”- reason? bullying

“Fourteen-year-old Hannah Smith, of Lutterworth, Leicestershire, England, was found hanged in her bedroom on Friday” (cyberbullying and troll)- reason? Bullying!

“TAMPA, Fla. - For nearly a year, as many as 15 girls ganged up on 12-year-old Rebecca Ann Sedwick and picked on her, authorities say, bombarding her with online messages such as "You should die" and "Why don't you go kill yourself." Rebecca couldn't take it anymore. She changed one of her online screen names to "That Dead Girl." She messaged a boy in North Carolina: "I'm jumping." And then, on Monday, the Lakeland girl went to an abandoned concrete plant, climbed a tower and hurled herself to her death.”- reason? More f*cking bullying!

“Jamey Rodemeyer, from Buffalo, New York, cried for help online for months before his death and his family and friends said suicide was a popular topic with him. He regularly posted about being bullied at school and how people would launch gay insults at him…But what was worse for Jamey, was that when he wrote of his pain and frustrations and cried for help in his blog postings, students at his school started to bully him online. About 12 months ago on his Formspring account - which permits anonymous posts - other students started making gay references towards him.

'JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!' read one post.

Another read: 'I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier!'

On September 9, Jamey wrote on his Tumblr site: 'I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?'” – reason behind suicide?  F*ncking bullying and people doing nothing and if they were, it was to make things worse by pushing him closer to the grave with those kind of words.

The statistics for teens with bullying induced suicide are alarming. According to the CDC bullying if ranked third among the leading causes of death for young people aged 10 to 24 years old. Bullying suicide results in 4400 lives lost each year (yes you did read right). Felicia wasn’t the first one and she won’t be the last because they are still some people out there that do not understand that word can do more harm than sticks and stones. Until those people bullying the rest of the world and picking on them “just to joke around” or “have some fun” are not taught tolerance, acceptance and told that they should not be messing around with other people emotion, we will continue helplessly to cry our sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, cousins, nephews, nieces and so on.

In this Bullying awareness month, let’s all stand against bullying. No more bullying, no more crying, no more teen taking away their lives because of words/names they are being called. Let’s put an end to bullying so that what happened to Felicia never happens again.

“I bet the people who were bullying you only dreamed about one thing: being like you. They couldn’t so they tried to break you down. They thought they had succeeded but they were wrong.  Now you are in a place where they won’t touch you and where their words won’t matter anymore. You are one of these stars in the sky, shinning bright when everything seems dark (as usual)… we will never forget you Felicia. RIP”

Seize the moment

Struggle for months, years; day after day fighting that battle to break free of your broken self. Imagine getting emotionally to a place that feels warmer, where you can forget about your pain. A place where life treats you better than it ever did in such a way that little by little, you get more confident about the future and start letting go of your broken self. You then realize that you are stronger than you have ever been, that you have ever known you could be.

Being able to find your piece of paradise, you land of happiness. For the first time you feel like everything fits exactly where it is supposed to, you are happy, smiling. You are invincible and it is as if things that used to break you yesterday can’t even hurt you as of today. You have reached a place where the time, the environment, your emotions as well as yourself are in symbiosis, working together at the same momentum to help you reach that place of absolute happiness and peacefulness.

But then comes that moment where you can’t seem to fall asleep as you are tormented by that one thought that is constantly on your mind. You are overwhelmed by this weird and scary feeling of uncertainty: how can everything be so perfect? Where is all that happiness coming from? What if I was waking up tomorrow and all that was gone? What if it was just a dream?

Too obsessed waiting for the downfall to come instead of taking in all that positive energy and all those good vibrations surrounding you. Too focused on that day you will have to say goodbye instead of smiling and enjoying those invaluable moments of selfish, uncomplicated love and happiness you will never get back once they are gone.

Don’t let your past haunt you and hold you from being happy for what have been yesterday might not be tomorrow. Don’t be afraid to listen to your heart and take a bet (even the riskier ones) for brighter tomorrows because when it comes to your heart and feelings forecasting doesn’t always work. So don’t live for what you hope tomorrow will bring you, but rather live for what today has to offer.

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is."
—Mary A. Hershey

Finding mr Right: few things you first need to get right

“The right man will love all the things about you that the wrong one was intimidated by.” Unknown

I was trying to find a way to open this article and I thought a quote would be more original than my usual rhetorical questions (especially after one week without an article... I had some technical problems. sorry guys).
Finding the right man… it can be such a hassle especially when you are dating. Most of the time, with the years passing and as you become used to it you can find the right one. You can (possibility) but again with some people it might take longer and turn out to be very frustrating.

Having a parade of men entering and exiting your life like a runway is not something you can be cool about especially when time is not on your side and that you really are eager to have someone nice to settle with. yes I named it “settle”! there is a time where it is a real fun to have a “break up to make up” relationship (although for some of us who are really focusing on trying to establish something you know… more stable it can be very disturbing). But passed that period, you need to grow up and keep on moving on with your life. You graduate from H.S, go to college. Then you graduate from college, find a nice job, end up having a wonderful career. And one day, you reconnect with some friends from college and/or H.S and you realize that ¼ of them are married, ½ are in a serious (very serious) relationship, 1/8  are engaged and the other 1/8 are  still going wild (Y.O.L.O.  I guess…).

At this very moment you realize that you have almost everything you have ever wanted but you are missing the big thing in the picture: that very person you would love to share all you joys, doubts, achievements and memorable moments with. That person you could go to at the end of the day that can cheer you up when your boss has been a tiny bit too bossy, or when you got only shit out of your day. That person you could love unconditionally and open your heart to because your are not afraid of letting him see the real you. Instead, you keep on dating those lame guys, those losers that keep on coming in, get what they want and leave you with nothing but a broken heart. If not them, you get the ones that don’t even know what they want beside “keep it cool” with you. Really? You need to stop doing that to yourself.

You need to go out with your group of emotionally-successful-in-relationship friends and see them happy. Then go back to your house and think of that night out with them as a serious kick in your butt and a wakeup call to start fixing your silly love life. Once you do that, sit down and have a serious and honest talk with yourself. What type of man do you want in your life? Why is it that you are always ending up with the wrong guys? Why is it that you are always being dumped and always getting your heart broken? What type of relationship you are looking for? You have to figure this out first before the next time you go out on a date with some stranger adding up to your  parade (unless you are not tired of constantly being emotionally bruised and have your heart crushed then you are welcomed to go ahead and jump in head first).

You don’t want a boy that thinks that being in a relationship is a game and that everytime he breaks a woman’s heart and wins her back again gives him extra points. You don’t want a guy that will mock your principles and belittle you or emotionally force you to put his little ego before your happiness. Neither do you want or need, someone who does not have enough space in his life to let you in except when he is home, alone, bored and looking for someone to spend the night with. You don’t need and you don’t want to make yourself go through that much sorrows and inflict more damage than you have already had to your self-esteem. You want and need a man that will love you the way you are, that will understand your principles and abide by your standards to help you become a better person. You need a man that will stand for you and fight for you when he needs to and not walk away like a wimp at the first sign of adversity, giving ridiculous excuses. You need someone that will Profess, Provide and Protect you no matter what challenges that will come in. You need someone that will respect you and your values and you need yourself to step up for what you believe in. if he does not agree with your terms, don’t be afraid to let him know that he is free to walk away. You need a man in your life, not a boy because no matter what happens, at the end of the day “Boys shack, MEN build homes”

As this is my last article before going on a well-deserved vacation, I want you to think about all that. Consider what has been said and keep what you think is good and helpful for you to move on and find the right MAN for you. Be true to yourself and let the other people see that, don’t be afraid to let that one guy go if you feel like deep inside he is not the right one for you because somewhere out there is a man ready to commit to you and waiting to make you happy. Don’t spit on that.

Smile and be happy J see you in back in September.

Did you know that?

Women alwaaaaaays complain about how some men are just not relationship material: not involved enough, not communicating, bad listeners, bad at remembering important dates and being spontaneous. Well ladies, as hard as it seems for you to believe it men do know how to love, they are capable of loving and being passionate in relationships. The problem is that women and men love each other in a different ways. Therefore, there are many things that women need to understand about men in order to have successful relationships and stop complaining for nothing.

First thing is that men are passive listeners. Women when they usually talk with each other have some cues that let the speaker know they are listening: eye contact, nodding, verbal responses. Well men are just not like that. He could be reading the newspaper and actually be listening to you for real (or not if it has been the thousandth time you are talking about the same topic or he could be listening to you and just have the newspaper open to make you feel like he is not). Or he might be listening to you but he won't nod or talk while you are talking because well... YOU ARE TALKING! On top of it men are not that good at communicating about the way they feel about you or your relationship unless they HAVE TO. They have to go fish/dig in that part of their soul none has access to except God (and them of course!) and they just HATE doing that because it makes them feel vulnerable. I am sure no man on this earth likes being vulnerable. If you know one holla at me I want to meet him.

This leads us to the second fact, men do not know how to multitask. Multitasking is something encoded only in the DNA of women. Do not expect your men to be watching over the kids and the dish you put in the oven while you are answering a call AND doing the laundry. Men do not have a clue (most of the time) about how to multitask. They know how to do one thing at the time and most men do it well so that you can be proud of them.

Moving tothe next fact: man appreciate when you say nice stuff to them when they do things to make you happy (but most likely to impress you... Let's keep it real here). It seems like nothing to you but it is a big deal for men. They have something called EGO that needs to be flatter frequently in order for them to feel like they are being useful in your life. It is also useful for them to feel like they are in control but mostly do keep doing those things you like because they know they will get a reward and they are feeling fn awesome about it.

This brings us to another fact: men are awfully bad at guessing things. Like seriously i had a friend once saying :" I really like that girl but maaaan... She confuses me like hell. I never know what to say, what to do because i don't want to mess up things between us. So guess what... i just don't do nothing". Men do not read minds ladies, if you don't say it they will never know it. Very few are good at following hints and being spontaneous from there but the vast majority is just clueless. I am not saying you need to tell everything you like to a guy after the first date but just give him enough for him to go from there and be spontaneous once in a while. You like something, tell him. You don't speak it (don' YELL it). You are mad, there is obvioulsy something wrong with you, he asks :"is everything okay?" You reply "yes". Well don't expect him to chase you and hammer you with questions. You said you were okay, he moves onto doing whatever he has been up to until that moment you showed up at his place with that muffin face.

One last thing that i think women need to know about men is that they are problem solvers. They don't talk about it over and over like women do. You come to him with a problem he tries as hard as he can to provide you with a solution. That girl was wearing the same outfit as you at that party yesterday? Don't wear it anymore. Period.  Simple as good morning. If you are not looking for a solution don't talk about that with him. If you are not satisfy by the option given just have some mercy on him and change the topic. For his sake and for your own sake too before you get frustrated over an argument about an outfit that shouldn’t have existed.

I am sure there are many other things that the ladies out there need to know about men to have/ maintain a great and dynamic relationship with them but those are the one I could think of on the top of my head. So pleaaaase ladies, be aware of the fact that love to your eyes does not always look the same and doesn't not always have the same implications to men. Don't overcomplicate it: making things simple is one important key in finding happiness. Let the rain be over and the sun shine again. I can feel love in the air so smile and be happy!

 

“Men aren't really complicated, Ana, honey. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what they've said - when really it's obvious. If I were you, I'd take him literally. That might help.” - E.L James

“Forget about the price tag”

Have you ever stopped for a minute and asked yourself what would make you happy? Like REALLY happy? Not the kind of happiness that will vanish an hour or a day later, I am talking about the real one? The one that will stay no matter how dark it is in your life or how bad thing are going? I know it can be tough some time but there are some people out there, like me, like you that make it through rough paths with that insane happiness I wish I could have sometimes.

It is so silly how today everything is about what we owe, everything material and we forget what is essential to our happiness. We are trying to put a price on everything; we are trying to evaluate how much money it will cost us to be happy. We have succeeded in convincing ourselves that money could buy it when in fact it doesn’t. Sure I would like to have money to be off the hook and avoid my banker to send me a letter every month to remind me that my bank account is overdraft. Of course I would like to never worry about my bills and have fun, buy some fancy stuff with my money because I can afford it. But the real question is: at the end of the day would I be happy? Speaking for my own self, I guess it would be no. I could have all those things but there are some precious and essential things that money can’t buy.

I have been for years a passionate of retail therapy and from my experience, there have been times where money was just not enough to make me happy. I would forget about my worries, my emotional issues when I was out shopping and swiping my card. I would feel good at the sight of all those things I would buy without even thinking sometimes. But then, I would go home and cry at night in my bathroom like a child because I just wasn’t happy despite everything I had.

Some people have been rich like shit and yet have been on all kinds of medications to be able to have somewhat of a peace of mind and some others to feel less depressed (not even happy… this is sad L ). Some families have been known has dynasties in the business world. From outside they are the image of the perfect and modern family but step into their world and you will be able to see how miserable their lives really are. Kids turning wild because the parents were never there when they needed them, parents missing the most important moments in the lives of their children because too busy running after money. In the worst scenario, kids turn out so spoiled they act like they are gods on earth because their parents are rich and feel like they don’t owe respect to anyone even to the people who gave birth to and raised them.

On the other hand, there are people that are rich too but all that money cannot buy them friends they can share their joys and memorable moments with. Some others are ridiculously rich, but don’t know what to do with it all that money they have and yet they don't want to share it because they still think it will one day make them happy. “I’d rather cry in a Ferrari than on the train” of course money can make our lives better but hey, if you are crying in the Ferrari you are probably not that happy (not to say your are just not happy). The beginning of happiness would be for us to stop putting a price tag on everything and focus on the most essential ones: love, appreciate every little moment of happiness with our loved ones, the wonderful friends we have and the time we are losing running after money … and many other things that we will be able to see once we will stop making money an obsession and associate it with happiness.

"Why is everybody so obssessed? Money can't buy us happiness

       Can we all slow down and enjoy right now, Guarantee we'll be feeling alright" Jessie J.

Finding a way back to happiness: You are not alone

Sorry for the delay in posting the weekly article! Once again I had inspirational issues and as I was not satisfied with the initial topic that was scheduled to be posted, I  ended up changing it (Probably not common for you guys but definitely my routine almost every week). It is very difficult to stay partial when writing an article on a blog you know… As easy as it seems to hide behind a screen to tell things that might be very personal, it can be very difficult at the same time. Why? Well simply because you are sharing a little bit of yourself, of your life, of your universe with people you don’t necessarily know. You share a little bit of your joys, angers, frustrations, smiles, tears, thoughts and fears too. You give them an insight of what your past was like, what your daily life looks like and what you hope your future will be made of. You open a window so that they can sneak their heads and see what your world looks like through your eyes…

More than everything I guess, this is the reason why I am a blogger and why I enjoy doing what I do. Telling my story and a little bit of other people’s stories that have been the building blocks of my own life. I love blogging because I can open up to the world not entirely but just enough to let someone reading article know that there is someone just like you (okay... almost like you) that is going through or went through what you are going through right now. Just enough for that person to know this: there is someone like you somewhere on this earth that is able to feel your pain and knows exactly how it feels like.

How it feels like to lose a loved one, how it feels like to lose a job and stay up all night wondering what tomorrow will bring you.

How it feels like to not give up this fight for your life when the doctors say that you have a 50/50 percent chance of winning against cancer.  

How it feels like to be disappointed about not being accepted to that college you have been dreaming of going to since you were a kid.

How it feels to be strong around people and hold your tears all day to finally let them down while the water is running in your bathroom so that none can hear you cry and sob…

Or… how it feels to have your heart broken over and over and get to the point where you are telling yourself “there must be something wrong with me” and then you wear that armor to protect yourself from being loved by people who truly deserve a spot in your life and your heart.

But you don’t see that because you have suffered too much, you don’t believe in love or friendship anymore because you have been hurt/betrayed too many times, you just gave up and slowly let your heart be filled with resentment, bitterness, anger… Then time softened your pain but as soon as love knocked at your door, you yelled “I’m coming” but you ran away using the backdoor.

It is so easy to use excuses for not being happy but let’s face: it is so difficult to keep up with them! It is so excruciating to stay mad at someone for a long period of time. At some point it just becomes so ridiculous to waste that much energy… Well it is at this place that I have learned how important and powerful forgiveness was. As long as you keep on being mad at someone who hurt you and at yourself for letting this happened to you, you will not be able to recover and be happy again. You will carry that burden everyday of your life and no matter what you do it will always be there. Not physically of course, but right there in your heart and in your soul you will constantly feel it. You will always be blaming the whole world and let the pain kill you softly without anyone being able to help you. Being mad at someone give that person power over your life. why? Because even though that person is not with you, just a simple thought of him/her crossing your mind is enough to f*ck up your entire day and make you miserable. Being mad at yourself will hold you from living your life at its fullest and will constantly hold you back from many opportunities you might not come across anymore.

Forgiveness will set you free and allow you to build something new, start from scratch yet build something durable. You only live once: don’t make your life revolve around useless pain and sorrows. Make it worth living, go beyond the wounds and the old scars and take a bet on forgiveness and see how it works.  It is hard but it is not impossible, the road is long but you will get there. Don’t worry about how long it will take, but take one step at a time. Thank God everyday for that strength he gives you and ask him to give you more of it as you need it to reach your destination. I am still on my way and I am sure many of us are too. So don’t be afraid: you are not alone 

Who to let in, who to let out: let life take care of it

Life is a journey that can be excruciating but rewarding once you have reached that place you pictured yourself at 10, 20, 50 years ago. It is a journey at the end of which you are rewarded when you have put in the time and the efforts that were required for you to succeed. But beyond that, there is the satisfaction you get from realizing that you have been surrounded by the right persons. I believe that the choice of the people we surround ourselves with can be very critical in shaping what our lives will be like from the moment we meet them. Why? Well the answer is very simple... There are three kinds of people you will meet in your life: people that will bring the best out of you, people that will bring the worst out of you and people that will just leave you like "meh... Whatever!"

Who you chose to surround yourself with will either make you reach for the stars or make you go rock bottom. And because we are human beings, we do not always make the smartest choices and of course, the choice of who we allow in our lives applies to this rule. Fortunately enough, life is about teaching us lessons and opening our eyes on things that otherwise we would have chosen not to see. I love how life can slowly take down the entire fake out of people and reveal their true nature through the trials and sufferings that one might endure. Yes, it is true: you only get to know your true friends when you are going through some shit and that 90% of your so called friends are not willing to help you fix the mess or even support you in times you need them to.As long as everything thing is fine they will always stand there and pretend that they love you unconditionally. But wait until your life is turned upside down, they will all vanish in the air and it will be as if some of them had never existed in your life.

People might not fully understand how important it is to be surrounded with the right persons until  they find themselves alone in the dark, their back against the wall, fighting their battles ALONE. for being there at some points in my life, I know how much it can hurt to have none left... None left to turn to, except few people you might not even have tought of. Then with time they turn into the few people you learn to count on, the few that walk by your side along the way, during the high and the lows, during the smiles and the tears, during the times of happiness and the times of sorrows. The few that truly know you like a book they have read over and over and who you can trust even in midst of betrayal.

One thing I have learned from life is that the people you start you journey with are not necessarily the one you will end up with. Though, It might happen sometimes that your journey end with the same persons you have started with. In either case, you need sometimes to let go of some  people for you to be able to move on. Don't worry if at some point you don't know what seems to be the right decision to make regarding who to let in and who to let out because guess what? Life is like a strainer: it will let the essential people continue with you and show the exit to the one whose time to walk by your side has expired.

So chill out, smile, be happy and enjoy the journey as much as you can

 

 

"God puts people in your life for a reason, and removes them from your life for a better reason."

- Unknown

Juliette apres Roméo

Romeo s’est barré et a laissé Juliette en plant, elle l’aimait trop pour croire qu’il aurait pu lui briser le Cœur. « Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison même ignore », se disait Juliette, qui remplit d’illusions attendait que Roméo revienne. C’était là son souhait et sa prière quotidienne, il lui manquait et je le savais. Elle n’avait pas besoin de le dire, ça se lisait dans son regard. Et même quand elle le détournait, je pouvais l’entendre dans sa voix. Et pourtant il n’y a pas eu que des hauts et leur relation n’a pas toujours été celle qu’on a l’habitude d’entendre. Il y a eu des cris et des larmes, il y a eu des excès de colère et des mots qui blessent.

 Et puis il y a aussi eu les parents de Romeo qui ne voulaient pas de Juliette. Leur amour n’était qu’un caprice, disaient-ils, il était trop bien pour elle. Chagrin d’amour, passion déraisonnée, quand le cœur prend le dessus et remporte la bataille contre la raison. Larmes et incompréhensions quand ce qui « sonne comme une évidence » finit par être vu comme une coïncidence. Juliette aimait Roméo mais lui il était amoureux d’elle : elle, elle le savait ce n’était pas pareil.

Romeo s’est barré et a laissé Juliette en plant, la veille il y avait de la tension dans l’air à cause de ce que les parents de Romeo auraient dit à propos de Juliette. Elle s’est énervée et a dit des mots qu’il ne fallait pas, il s’est emporté et lui a balancé qu’il en avait marre et que de toute façon entre eux ca collait pas. Il est parti sans se retourner et a claque la porte derrière lui. Elle a appelé sa meilleure amie et dans ses bras, elle a pleuré toute la nuit.

Rancœur, larmes, colère et douleur, elle ne comprenait pas pourquoi tout avait tourné si mal. Et pourtant il lui avait promis de ne jamais lui briser le cœur. Elle n’osait toujours pas croire que tout cela n’était qu’un leurre. Elle se disait que ça lui passerai et qu’il reviendrait, qu’ils se réconcilieraient ; ça ne pouvait être que ça, le scénario était déjà fait. Les jours ont passé et les mois aussi, Juliette est restée seule Romeo s’est tiré ; « pourquoi tu n’as rien fait pour le retenir ? » – ai-je demandé. Une larme a roulé le long de sa joue puis elle a avoué la gorge nouée : « J’étais trop blessée pour lui demander de rester ». Juliette aimait Roméo pas qu’à cause de ses beaux yeux bleus, il était doux et attentionné, il l’aimait juste comme il faut et puis a l’époque tout allait bien : ils étaient heureux. Il y a quelques mois elle était heureuse et ne voyait que sa de son petit nuage, aujourd’hui redescendue sur terre elle n’y voit plus clair parce qu’écorchée vive dans son coeur l'amour a  fait place a la rage. 

Romeo s’est barré et a laissé Juliette en plant, elle l’aimait mais il était amoureux définitivement ce n’était pas pareil. A l’époque elle s’appelait Juliette et le trouvait infiniment beau, aujourd’hui elle s’appelle cœur de bombe et a compris que « derrière les princes se cachent toujours des crapauds ». Elle a eu mal de le voir partir mais depuis le temps, elle a réappris à sourire en pensant à lui parce qu’avec lui elle a decouvert ce que signifiait aimer. Son coeur a gueri des blessures du passe mais les cicatrices demeurent, un jour elle le sait, la peine finira par la mettre en veilleuse et perdre la bataille face au Bonheur.

 

"J'aimerais briser autant que l'on m'a brisé, sans jamais avoir de regret. Mais que faire sinon de laisser couler ? Coule la vie, coule les larmes, coule le temps pour oublier..."   

 Inconnu

Don’t take it for granted…

It is amazing how we tend to take everything for granted when really we shouldn’t… The big car, the big house, the kids, the job that makes you ridiculously rich… It all seems so normal to us to have all that, we forget that we can lose it all on one day.
Monday, April 15, 2013 it is such a beautiful day, everyone is outside and as it is the tradition every year, people are running the Boston marathon. I was supposed to meet friends in the afternoon so I leave my house and take the direction of Fenway. As I get to the meeting place, i try to get myself busy until my friends make it to the place. But I can't seem to be able to wrap my mind around whatever it is that I am doing. There is that weird feeling that kept on bugging me… you know that feeling you have when something bad is about to happen and your intuition is telling you “ you better get you’re a** out of here otherwise it's not going to be good for you”.

As none is coming, I change my mind and I decide to leave. On my way to the train station, I see a lot of ambulances, the police is everywhere and the traffic is crazy. There was a big crowd coming toward me, it seemed weird but I thought maybe the marathon was over and the people were just leaving the place. Then I receive a call from one of my acquaintance. I couldn’t hear my friend, she asks me if I am still at the cafe and I said : “no, I don’t want to stay, I am waiting for the train to go home” and she told me “ I just received an alert on my phone saying there was a bomb explosion on Boylston street and the train is down. Stay where you are until the area is clear and safe enough for you to leave.”
 

As I was on my way back to the little café which was less than 10 minutes away from the explosion site, I heard people talking about it and one of them told me when I asked if it was true : “ yes it is, I was 5 blocks away when it happened.” I was literally shocked… I could retrace in my mind the pathway I took to go to the café, remembering myself saying “wow the marathon! It is so beautiful…”as I was on the bridge leading to Fenway. I had no idea, when I was passing that area that two bombs were about to explode, almost 10 to 20 minutes later. My mind just went blank and I started to shiver just at the idea that I could have been there, it could have been me that women hit in the head by the debris from the explosion or that man stuck under the security fence after the first bomb exploded. It was just surrealistic what was happening outside: the ambulances, the police, and the helicopters hovering over the area every 5 minutes… It just seemed like there was a remake of 9/11 right in the heart of Boston… I still have chills just at the idea that it could have be me…
 

I went back to the café waiting for the area to be clear and after an hour ½ I managed to find my way back home. As I was on the train, there was that man on the phone, who ran the marathon. He was probably talking to a relative or a friend who called to check on him as the news of the explosion spread quickly. He said:
“ yes… I was running the marathon but I am fine… I missed it by ten minutes. I had already passed the line and I was heading to the hotel when it happened… Thanks for calling and be safe.”

Ten minutes later and he could have been among the people that were rushed to the hospital… As I got home and gave my mind some rest, I realized that nothing on this earth is granted and your perfect world could be turned upside down any minute... You never know when it will happen or where it will happen, you never know if you will make it home tonight as you are leaving your house. You never know what might take away from you the most precious things you have in your life. This is the reason why you should always be grateful for what you have and enjoy every single moment with the persons that are dear to you. As I am home and grateful that I am alive, I am thinking about the people who lost their lives in the explosions especially that 8 years old boy as well all the people who were injured.

As you will go to bed tonight, think about what you have that people don’t and be grateful for it. If you don’t find anything to be grateful for, think about that kid who is gone and about his family that will always have a bitter taste of life every year around this period.
Now you have a reason to bow you head and be grateful, keeping in your mind that nothing is for granted especially life…

"Encouragements: Pass it on"

           On ne se rend pas vraiment compte de ce que l’on a le pouvoir d’accomplir ni des portes qui peuvent s’ouvrir devant nous lorsqu’on reste les bras croisés, sans partir à l’aventure. Partir à l’aventure peut bien signifier partir pour des terres inconnues pour les plus fougueux mais ici je fais référence au fait qu’il est important de quitter la zone de confort. Ce n’est qu’en quittant cette zone et en se surpassant qu’on arrive à exploiter pleinement notre potentiel et prendre conscience que les possibilités qui s’offrent à nous sont illimitées. Passer le cap des 500 vues est un mile stone dans ma « carrière » de bloggeuse débutante. Il y a eu beaucoup de sueurs froides quand à h-3 il n’y a toujours pas d’article à poster ou encore des déceptions quand après 6 articles et presque deux mois, les statistiques n’affichent que 32 vues. Mais au-delà de cela, il y a eu les encouragements de ceux qui ont crus en moi, qui ont vu mon potentiel au lieu des obstacles et des challenges qui se dressaient devant moi et qui m’ont soutenue dans ma vision. A Ceux qui sont tout près et qui me suivent depuis le début comme à ceux qui sont à des milliers de kilomètres et qui sont des nouveaux venus sur le blog du bonheur, je tiens à vous dire infiniment merci de prendre de votre temps pour lire mes articles. Ce n’est pas toujours évident de partager un bout de son univers avec des inconnus mais savoir que quelqu’un quelque part a trouvé sa part de bonheur à travers vos mots est la plus grande satisfaction qu’on puisse en tirer.

          Ils paraissent parfois anodins, mais les encouragements et les mots de réconforts peuvent changer du jour au lendemain la vie d’une personne.  Ils participent à faire de nous des personnes meilleures en nous façonnant tant moralement que psychologiquement, à nous donner plus d’assurance et parfois à surmonter les stéréotypes que la société nous impose. Des millions de jeunes filles auraient pu éviter de sombrer dans l’anorexie si au lieu d’être mises à l’écart, elles avaient été encouragées à avoir une image positive d’elles-mêmes. Elles n’auraient pas fait naufrage et leur estime n’aurait pas été noyée s’il y avait eu des mots justes pour leur faire comprendre que le plus important était d’être soi-même et non le stéréotype féminin créé par la société. Il y a eu des femmes qui n’avaient pas une carrure de mannequin, mais qui ont brillé comme des étoiles. Elles ont montré au monde entier qu’il n’y avait pas besoin de se transformer en « skinny minnie » pour prouver qu’elles ont du talent et aller loin dans la réalisation de leurs rêves. Adèle en est un très bel exemple. Elle commande le respect, elle est élégante, elle a des rondeurs et elle n’a pas peur ni honte de cela : elle l’assume très bien !

       Parce que trop de jeunes filles ont vues leur estime jetée dans la boue, il est important de leur faire changer la fausse perception d’elles-mêmes que la société leur renvoie. Cela se fera en leur apprenant à s’accepter telles qu’elles sont, en les encourageant à accomplir de grandes choses et à atteindre leurs objectifs. Donner un blason doré à leur estime sera l’un des principaux facteurs dans la lutte contre l’anorexie. Avoir des jeunes filles qui ne sont pas limitées par leur obsession d’être parfaites, qui ont confiance en elles et en leur potentiel n’est peut-être qu’un rêve aujourd’hui mais cela pourrait être une réalité demain. Elles en ont le pouvoir, elles n’attendent  que les mots qui pourront leur donner le courage dont elles ont besoin pour les faire aller au-delà de ce qu’elles peuvent imaginer.
Ce mile stone est un hommage a toutes ces jeunes filles qui ont un potentiel au dela de la norme et qui un jour (je l'espere) auront suffisamment d'estime pour elles-memes et d'audace pour realiser leurs reves et gagner leur droit de briller comme des etoiles.

"Encouragement, pass it on"

The most awesome place in the world...

Have you ever looked at a picture of one of those heavenly beautiful beaches under a sunset and told yourself : “this would be the most awesome place in the world to be and live at ”. It is peaceful, beautiful, appealing: yes you are definately right in your one of our most attainable and original dreams. But in your daily life what would be the most awesome place to be at? Some people would say the bedroom. There was a time it used to be the most awesome place in the world for me too you know. It is the only kingdom you get to rule on, your most honest subjects being your bed and your pillows and your closest friends your books, the playstation and your laptop (when your friends are not over your house of course!) . But then I found another place that was as awesome as my bedroom could be. As much as I loved it, I had to recognize that my Bathroom was the most awesome place in the world (after my bedroom). Although a loooot (and when I say a lot, the word is weak) of things happen in the bedroom we must give a thumb up to the bathroom.

I mean come on… it is the best place for people like us to sing: water is on, you sing out loud, no one can hear so no one can judge! LOL… so sad (I seriously need to take some classes). And when you have to do number one, number two or number three (it’s one and two), well you are glad you are in your bathroom, on the toilet A.K.A the Throne rather than in your bed. you can take a break to read that book that you have never been able to finish until that gastro from the food you had last night. I know… it is not easy to keep yourself calm and have your mind focused to read a book when you are perspiring and suffering as if you were about the leave your intestines in the toilet. But! You can always have a book-break in between two stomach spasms just in case you know … you are bored and you need to entertain yourself ( don't "ewww" me you know exactly what it is like and you probably are the one having the gastro right now and reading that on your fone while you are siting on your throne, in your bathroom)

My bathroom is my inspiration place. It is weird that it is always when I am taking a shower that I have the most f*****g brilliant ideas for my own personal life as well as for my blog. And most of the time it is on the eve of the publication or hours before it that I am like “I got it!” but then I have no paper, no pencil and duuuh! There is water and soap everywhere! Seriously… someone should create a waterproof paper or something like that to keep track of the most awesome ideas I ever had (PS: yes that one came up also when I was taking a shower!)

A bathroom is not always about just take a shower or a s#!t you know. It is also a place where I can have a “me” time and think about my life, make plans and think more deeply about rational stuff ( think about random stuff also works when my brain is too tired to process information in order). It is also a place where you can let the water run and cry without being heard, sit and be creative,  practice of your photography talents in front of your mirror or just smoke pot (lol not a fan of it but some people do it … again I am not judging!). I also loooove to play guitar in my bathroom because the echo is the perfect tool to tune the voice and the guitar. I could stay there for hours playing and enjoying the beauty of what i can sanely play at the guitar ( it doesn't happen a lot but when it does it's dope!)

It is amazing the number of things (usual as well as very unusual) that can be done in a bathroom and I am sure there are still a lot of stuff I need to learn about. For now I will stop here and if you think your bathroom is also one of the most amazing place in the world may you find some happiness there :)

 

 

“If I want to be alone, some place I can write, I can read, I can pray, I can cry, I can do whatever I want - I go to the bathroom.” - Alicia Keys.

 

 

 

Will you ever come back?

We all know how it feels to be used to see someone everyday, to do every single thing with that person until the day he/ she has to leave.

I have never been a big fan of goodbyes and I know for a fact that I will probably never be. It is just heart breaking to imagine your life without that person. It just sucks you know… going back to your old, ugly and boring life routine and just pretend the transition will be smooth. What sucks even more  is when people say “don’t think about the time I will be gone, keep the good memories of the moment we spent”  well the thing is that good memories will make it hard to get used to someone’s absence. I don’t know about you but for me it does make it hard because I have all those good memories, i would like to create some more and have that special moment and connection but guess what? You are not here and this sucks. And then there are the hugs and the crying part right on the spot for the most sensitive. Then there are the strongest who pretend on the goodbye scene that everything is fine.  But as soon as they get home, they run into the kitchen, start cooking and use the onions as an excuse for their tears when truly we know what is happening.

It is always hard to see someone leave, to say goodbye especially when you don’t know when that person will come back. I have known people who had parents, brothers, sisters, friends in the army and I can only imagine how hard it is to see them leave for days, months and even years sometimes. It is not only hard to see them leave but it is even harder to let them go when the idea that they might not come back cross their minds. I can imagine how hard it is for them and I admire them for their courage as well as the strength and faith they have knowing that it could be the last time they are seeing a loved one or that it could be the last hug. Have a special one missing all these important moments of your life knowing that it is because of something greater than your life is a daily routine for some people and somewhere else a concept that I am sure some other people would hardly understand.

 Today’s article is a tribute to the all the soldiers who leave their family and go overseas to defend what they think is noble as well as to the families who await for their beloved ones to get home. As hard as it is to see someone leave, having to say goodbye has a bright side: It reminds us of how important some people are in our lives and also that we need to enjoy every single moments we spent with them no matter how small it lasts until we see them again

“Goodbyes are not forever, are not the end. It simply means I’ll miss you until we meet again.”

La Therapie des mots

Une page blanche qu’avec le temps on apprend à remplir,

Comme l’armoire de l’âme qu’on remplit de souvenirs.

Je me suis surprise a ecrire non pas pour supporter la vie

Mais tout simplement parce que dans ma douleur mon inspiration a repris vie.

Trouver les mots pour faire sortir ce que l’on ressent,

Ecrire pour soulager l’âme de ce qu’on n’a pas pu oublier malgré le poids du temps.

Mes écrits n’ont jamais été à l’échelle de ceux de Grand Corps Malade

Néanmoins ils ont efficace a guérir mon âme malade.

Les mots ont su éteindre le volcan de ma colère;

Celui auquel n’ont jamais pu venir à bout tant de larmes au gout amère.

Amères car nées de tant et tant de regrets,

Amères car sur le chemin de la solitude j’ai perdu tous mes repères.

Rêver de liberté, d’amour, d’évasion,

Passer d’un monde gris à un monde en couleur, lever les yeux et dire au revoir à cette prison.

Vivre une vie où tout va bien dans le meilleur des mondes

Car j’ai appris qu’avec les mots on pouvait conquérir le monde.

J’ai trouvé en moi cette force pour cultiver ce don,

Juste pour faire la paix avec moi-même et non pas pour me faire un nom.

Avec une feuille et un stylo j’ai mis à nu mes faiblesses

J’ai compris qu’a cote de l’amour et de la gentillesse il peut parfois y avoir des mots qui blessent.

Même si aujourd’hui certaines blessures sont encore ouvertes

J’ai aussi appris à laisser la porte qui mène à des lendemains meilleurs entre-ouverte;

Car, si comme Grand Corps Malade « mon envie n’a pas maigrie »

C’est sans doute parce que l’espoir d’un jour rencontrer le bonheur la nourrit.

"C'est surtout dans l'ecriture qu'est la magie" - Nathalie Rheims