Have you ever met one of those people whose are constantly mean? Always hiding behind sarcasm, borderline aggressive and never to be caught saying a single nice thing to somebody? If yes you know how soul crushing it can be to be around those people and of course, like everybody else, you have at least once wondered a) if you did something wrong or b) if it's just the way those people are. If you have answered yes to question b) you have most likely asked yourself question c) : Is s/he always like this? The answer to question c is more complex than just a regular yes. But right off the bait, let me state that the undeserved plate of ice cold unkindness you have been served has probably nothing to do with you and more to do with the people who made that "dish" and served it to you. And if this is the case, the purpose of my article today is to walk you (to he best of my abilities) trough some to of the legitimate (to my opinion) reasons why you should just toss that "dish" into the "idgaf" bucket instead of taking any offense that may stem from it seriously.
1- Those people are just in a bad mood
I know what you are about to say and I agree: it's unfair to be mad and say things that are not so nice to other people just because you are in a bad mood but life happens. And there are just days where you run a tad bit overdraft on your "nice and courteous" account and ugly things happens a.k.a you hurt people's feelings. Not that you mean it (well... sometimes you do but it's a different story...) but for a moment the mean troll in you just took control and your will power was like a wimpy kid that couldn't do anything. And when things like that happen you cannot do anything but put the words that are being said to you on the account of a bad mood. You don't want to cling to those hurtful words because really they are not worth the trouble so you just toss it to the side and you move on.
2- Anger is the only things those people know
We were not all fortunate to grow up in the most perfect environment where we are all loved, and the world was all pink and we all walked hand in hand pretending evil didn't exist. Some people had it rough and the only thing that helped get through the emotional and physical challenges they faced growing up was to toughen out and turn into the most horrible creatures of all time. They became that Hulk who instead of literally smashing people, smashes the crap out of people's feelings; even the nice IT guys who was just trying to be friendly but who Hulks calls lame, ugly and pathetic because he is just in fact smart. Not cool...
I do believe that we have the choice when it comes to deciding on the type of person we want to turn into when we grow up; but sometimes there are desperate situations that call for desperate measures and maybe some of those people found themselves in positions where there had no other choices but to be Hulk. And when it comes down to this, no matter what you do, you might never get the kindness and consideration you are looking for. Not because you are doing things wrong but simply because that person you are dealing with doesn't know anything else but being mean, inconsiderate of people's feelings and careless about how hurtful some words/ behaviors can be. So in this case would it be smart to make a case out of everything that is being said and/or done? Probably not.
3- They are fighting battles you know nothing about
When you are going through rough patches in life, you are like a grenade that can explode at any given moment. And just like any exploding grenade, you are more likely to create casualties. The amount of pressure we are under nowadays, whether it is financial, emotional or social is doing nothing but pushing us to the edge, making our internal grenade mechanism tick faster and faster, until the threshold is reached. And if unfortunately someone, whoever that person is- is around that day, it will be more likely that s/he will be counted as a casualty. And I know saying this it doesn't ease the fact that your feelings have been hurt, but keeping in mind that it could have been somebody else that day is a good enough reason to let water run under the bridge and wash away the dirt / hurt brought by those mean words.
4- They just enjoy seeing other people hurt
As twisted and weird as it sounds, this is true for some people out there: they are naturally mean and feel an unprecedented satisfaction from hurting people 's feeling (hint: bullies)
And the reason why you shouldn't take any of what they say personally is because what they say to you has nothing to do with you. Rather, it is a projection of who they are, a projection of their own feeling, a projection of the reality they live in, which is rather ugly. And giving credit to what they say would be identifying yourself with a reality you are not part of. So why bother? There are more important things in life, which brings me to the 5th reason...
5- You have better things to do in life.
Holding a grudge and/or nursing the hurt caused by words/ actions that have absolutely nothing to do with you or your reality asks for a ridiculous amount of energy. No only that, but the amount of time you spend letting those feelings control you and consume you is ludicrous. Personally I find it to be such a waste especially if the person who said those words to you has already forgotten! And here you are, sitting like an idiot and holding onto a grudge/hurt that is doing nothing but preventing you from living a happy life, while the person who caused it (unintentionally or intentionally) is living and not even paying attention to you. You end up wasting your time, energy and imagination (yes!) on trivial things when you could redirect them into more significant things. And years from now, you will be sitting at the same spot, blaming others and/or life for not giving you the opportunities you need when in reality, you had all you needed and wanted, but you were so busy rehearsing the hurt that you didn't see the beautiful and amazing opportunities life was offering you. So now that you still have the opportunity to do so: quit being hurt, let it go and start living.
We have all at some point said words we don't mean, no matter how careful we are with the words we say. It is life and it can happen. Those words can be hurtful and while some of us might apologize for them, we don't always end up obtaining the apology we deserve. But it is in our best interest to not hold on to those words and to let go, especially when we are conscious of the fact that those words do not align with our reality but rather, are a projection of the reality the people in front of us are living in at any given moment or have been living in for the longest time. Living happy is a choice and sometimes it starts with making a decision to not take people's words seriously. It starts with training your mind to reject every negative word that could destroy your happiness and embodying the following sentence and living it everyday of your life:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
And this my friend, is how you win at living life like a boss...
As twisted and weird as it sounds, this is true for some people out there: they are naturally mean and feel an unprecedented satisfaction from hurting people 's feeling (hint: bullies)
And the reason why you shouldn't take any of what they say personally is because what they say to you has nothing to do with you. Rather, it is a projection of who they are, a projection of their own feeling, a projection of the reality they live in, which is rather ugly. And giving credit to what they say would be identifying yourself with a reality you are not part of. So why bother? There are more important things in life, which brings me to the 5th reason...
5- You have better things to do in life.
Holding a grudge and/or nursing the hurt caused by words/ actions that have absolutely nothing to do with you or your reality asks for a ridiculous amount of energy. No only that, but the amount of time you spend letting those feelings control you and consume you is ludicrous. Personally I find it to be such a waste especially if the person who said those words to you has already forgotten! And here you are, sitting like an idiot and holding onto a grudge/hurt that is doing nothing but preventing you from living a happy life, while the person who caused it (unintentionally or intentionally) is living and not even paying attention to you. You end up wasting your time, energy and imagination (yes!) on trivial things when you could redirect them into more significant things. And years from now, you will be sitting at the same spot, blaming others and/or life for not giving you the opportunities you need when in reality, you had all you needed and wanted, but you were so busy rehearsing the hurt that you didn't see the beautiful and amazing opportunities life was offering you. So now that you still have the opportunity to do so: quit being hurt, let it go and start living.
We have all at some point said words we don't mean, no matter how careful we are with the words we say. It is life and it can happen. Those words can be hurtful and while some of us might apologize for them, we don't always end up obtaining the apology we deserve. But it is in our best interest to not hold on to those words and to let go, especially when we are conscious of the fact that those words do not align with our reality but rather, are a projection of the reality the people in front of us are living in at any given moment or have been living in for the longest time. Living happy is a choice and sometimes it starts with making a decision to not take people's words seriously. It starts with training your mind to reject every negative word that could destroy your happiness and embodying the following sentence and living it everyday of your life:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
And this my friend, is how you win at living life like a boss...
Just like Emma Stone... 😎
Until next time,
xo
