Reflections on Rest

 Hello and welcome back to another article!

At the time I started working on that article, it had been exactly a whole quarter and a month since I had last posted. However, here we are now and the year is almost over. What started just as a moment in between posts to brainstorm the next article turned into a much needed Selah moment. As I have said before on this platform, there is nothing that I share that doesn’t apply/ minister to me: What I have shared from a prophetic place has turned out to be the encouragement I couldn’t give myself in the times that I have walked through my very own valley; and what I have shared from experience is the wisdom I pray someone can benefit from. 

2025 was definitely a mixed-feelings type year with highs that were high and exhilarating; and lows that had me question a lot of things. And in the midst of all of this, a moment to stop was much needed. It was intentionally shorter to begin with but as time went by, I realized that perhaps much more time than I had anticipated was needed. Life still happened but I started to think more intentionally about what it meant to rest as i walked through that journey everyday, in a practical way. 

As the year is coming to an end, I am still on that journey (and suspect I will be on it for a while), more intentional than ever about what it means to live a life where rest can exist, not as an earned reward for constantly and consistently striving as society dictates it, but simply as a practice because I deserve it. 

As I continue my journey, I am sure that I will have a lot more to talk about but I wanted to share what I have found out rest to be in the past months through my own experiences, through conversations with people and through the Bible lens.

1- Rest as a way to honor God

As part of ministry, I attended a workshop months ago where we spoke about rest. I had been wrestling with this article for a while and didn't really know how to start it, what to write in it or even how to relate to it. However, one thing I knew for sure was that it was what God wanted me to talk about and the theme of this workshop came as confirmation of it. The guest speaker at the workshop described Rest as a gift from God. When I did my research while writing this article, I found that there was different words in Hebrew that meant rest but the one that she and I stayed on was Shabbat which is what God instructed in His word. As a Christian (imitator of Christ), I think a lot of what it means to bear that name/title. Sometimes, there are big/very stern terms associated with it like Holiness, and obedience, but there are moments like this, when talking about rest, where I realize that imitating Christ (who is God) also means resting. It might seem like such a minute thing but it is so important. The Bible says in genesis that God created everything in six days and "by the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it He rested from all the work of creation that He had done" (Gen 2:2). What I took away from this verse is that to honor the sabbath (rest) is to honor God by imitating him (first) and by acknowledging the sacredness of rest (second). To live in holiness is to honor God. To live in integrity is to honor God. To serve in a ministry capacity, in community or our family members is to honor God. And to rest is also to honor God. 

2-Rest as a way to rebel against societal norms

We live in an era were productivity has become an idol for many (myself included). For a lot of us, we have derived our worth from what we do. I have heard many times people joke around and say :"you can rest when you are dead" and that's how I knew that there was a serious problem with the society we live in. It is unfortunate that it takes people to be burnout, to have mental breakdowns or even drop down dead to realize that rest is something necessary. As someone who travels, I am realizing that the idea of moving slow and stopping is not something that is natural in the western society. In certain places in Europe, shops are closed on the weekend. People on their lunch breaks step away from their desks/ leave their offices to have lunch because they understand the importance of stopping, just for a little while, so they can be replenished and rejuvenated. As I am walking through that journey of uncovering what rest means for me, I am also confronted with the reality of how hard it is to change my own habits and reconditioning my mind. I am confronted with the reality of how hard it is to resist the urge to jump on everything, say yes to everything and/or fix everything. The reality of the world we live in is that everyone is expendable and there will be another day to save if I cannot save today. And if I can save today, it's okay if I don't save tomorrow. I don't have to succumb under societal pressure : just because I have the capacity to do it all doesn't mean that I have to do it all.

3- Rest as an act of trust (and Faith) in God

A while ago, I went down the rabbit whole to understand the difference between trust and faith because of one specific passage: Mark 9:24. What I have found during my study of that verse is that it is possible to have Faith (believing in God's character and power) while not trusting that He can do what He says He is going to do for us specifically. The faith part is based on things that are established as truth by the Word of God, the trusting part is relational. Faith stands on Who God is, trust is based on who God is to us. And for a lot of us, rest is a test of how much we trust God and have Faith in him. A lot of us- again, myself included- wrestle with restlessness because we do not trust that God will show up for us. We tend to have the Faith part down but the area where we struggle the most is trust. Even when we have a track record of what God can do, we still waver in our trust. And because we do, we have a tendency to want to control everything, even when we leave things in God's hands. I have found in my experience that a restless mind/person is simply a mind/person that is not at peace. I am learning to pivot my prayers from asking for answers to asking God for peace. It doesn't mean an absence of trouble, it just means that because the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus (phil 4:7), I can rest knowing that what I cannot take care of because it is out of my reach and my physical abilities, God will handle. It is a hard thing to practice on a daily basis, especially in times where all you see is a raging sea and waves on the horizon of life while your boat is being beat up by the storm. And practicing trusting God will not be something that you nail every time too: there will be moments of doubts. However, when those moments come, be reminded that God is not looking out for perfection and all He needs is a sincere heart that can say "Lord I believe (I have faith), help my unbelief (my lack of trust)" just as in mark 9:24. And He will do the rest.

4- Rest as a way to sustainably continue the journey 

As someone who used (in the past) to want to just get through my tasks, I have learned the hard way that rest is the only way to sustainably continue the journey. Just "wanting to be done" got me burned out, irritable and brought me to the brink of quitting things that I enjoy that required me to (unfortunately for me) pace myself. I have learn that quitting wasn't the solution to being burnout or overwhelmed: resting was. I have a very good friend of mine (more like a sister from another mother) whose motto is "no matter what you are going through in life, eat first" and to that I add "then sleep". I have come to realize for myself how detrimental a lack of sleep and rest is for me, what I have going on in life and my relationships. It goes without saying because it is straight up Biology. But we don't always realize that. Whenever I think of how far one can go when properly rested and rejuvenated, I think of Elijah's journey to Horeb as he was running for his life because of Jezebel. The Bible says in 1 kings 19: 1-9: 

"Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." Elijah was afraid a and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9There he went into a cave and spent the night.

One thing I believe about the Bible and the way it is written is that nothing is coincidental. 2 tim 3: 16 says "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" and my personal belief is that the rest, the food and the power of God all played a role in Elijah's ability to walk 40 days and night- without stopping- to go meet God at Horeb. It is encouragement (to me at least) that resting and refueling is not a waste of time, but rather a necessity if we want to make it to the places we talk about with God. 

This is the end of the road for this article and this topic (for now) and this is what I will leave you with for this year. I hope (and pray) that in those words- whether from this article or from the ones that I published this year and before- you have found something that gave you hope, encouraged you and/or something that motivated you to either keep going or change the trajectory of your life for the better. 
I am grateful that no matter how long I am gone, I always find myself back to this place where my words go out to do what they do (I hope something good). I pray the rest of this year be kind to you and your loved ones and I leave you with this Irish blessing: 

"May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand."

Until next time, 

Reflections on transition seasons

“I am the LORD your God who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide and I will fill it” Ps 81:10

Now this verse is not directly connected to what we will be talking about today, however, it is the theme behind how this article made it to the blog today. As the time approached to post on this platform, I started to brainstorm about what I was going write about. I had a couple of ideas but nothing that I felt settled about. So I started praying about it and asked God what was next. Then I stood still. I had started writing about transition and what it meant, how to navigate it, etc… The notes that I had were more in the contexts of conversation with my inner circle so I never really elaborated on the thoughts I jotted down. However, after I prayed about what to post, God redirected my attention to those notes. The topic of transition then started popping up: in church, conversations with friends and strangers, in my own life as things started to shift and change. It was clear what would be the next topic and here we are.

When we speak of transitions, generally we go immediately to the natural/physical seasons that we experience throughout the year (at least I do). Seasons are in order and succeed one another. The succession of seasons is not a clean cut, meaning april 20th it is 20 degrees Fahrenheit and snowing and as soon as April 21st comes it is now spring. No… It is a little more complex than that: yes by the calendar it is spring but things change gradually. There is an in-between place where it is not winter anymore but it is not yet spring: that is the transition. It is the place where what we used to do and know no longer works but what we are to do does not apply yet. Although there is no “transition season” on the calendar even though it very much exists, going through a transition in life is a season of its own and only God knows how much it lasts. Because it is a place where things are not easily discerned and there aren’t always word to explain what is going on, I thought perhaps I would share some of the things God helped me understand about transition seasons.

1- A transition season is a season to get closer to God

Because a transition season is the place between no longer and not yet, it is the space where flexibility and adaptability muscles are exercised. In our walk with God it is the place where we are to rely on God more than ever because we are leaving an old place and entering a territory we have never been before. We are entering a territory that is only known by God. As humans, we cannot comprehend things with our limited understanding or things seem to elude us, we tend to get creative to get to our “next” quicker when what we should be doing is trust/ lean on God (prov 3:5-6). 

2-Your attitude during the transition season determines how successfully you navigate it

A transition season is the space where we need to stay close to God to receive instruction and wisdom in order to navigate the transition successfully and not add to the time we are meant to go through it. Israel got out of Egypt and went through the wilderness prior to taking possession of Canaan, the promise land. The wilderness was their transition and it was actually planned by God (I know. Shocker. We’ll talk about God ordained wilderness another time). However, because they did not stay close to God (with their hearts postures and with their actions), what was supposed to be a transition of 40 days turned into 40 years. 

3- A transition season does not affect just you

I want to believe that not all the Israelites had the wrong heart posture, but one thing that is undeniable about their extended stay in the wilderness is how not having the proper posture in a transition season can affect the people around us. Yes, going through a transition might feel really intimate and personal, but one thing I have learned about life is that what I go through in life might be for me but rarely about me. Someone’s life, breakthrough, healing, deliverance, salvation, etc… is tied to my obedience and willingness to follow God’s instructions. My delay makes them incur delays that might be detrimental and cause them never to enter their promise land. 

4- A transition season is not a season of idleness

There is no greater lie about a transition season than that of being dressed up/referred to as a season of idleness. Yes there is not much that can be done in that season but it doesn’t mean that nothing is being done. God is too intentional for anything to ever be wasted with him. The greatest work being done in a transition season is the one that is not always immediately seen and/or felt and that is the internal one. The work that God does on our heart and our character. The transition season is a space of learning and unlearning: you let go/unlearn what no longer serves you and learn the new skills that will be useful for you as you enter your promised land. And if you have ever tried learning and unlearning anything in life, then you know how hard that can be. The ground work for the next season is laid in the transition season. It is far from being a season of idleness: it is the season where the most important work is done to ensure that the foundations that are laid can sustain the weight of what God is to entrust us with in the promised land. 

5-Life is still be to lived in the transition season

Because of how uncertain and up in the air things are in the transition season, a lot of us hold our breath, waiting for things to settle before we can exhale. But from my own personal experience, i can say that God times and times, reminded me that life is also worth being lived in the middle. Yes things might be uncertain but we serve a God that is certain because His word says that He is the same yesterday, today and forever (hen 13:8). He is still good, He is still merciful, He is still a provider, He is still all those things that His word says He is and He is still faithful to make a way for us when there seems to be no way. He is still faithful to make everything work out together for our good (Rom 8:28), even when we do not how it will happen. Because all of these things are true, we can live life in the transition season knowing that all his promises for us, all the things he has spoken over us will come to pass when the time is right (Isa 60:22). There is still beauty in the space between no longer and not yet, and as hard and tricky as it can be, it is worth being lived and honored. 

If you are going through a transition in life, I would like to encourage you to keep the faith and to keep going. Egypt might look attractive but remember what the Lord delivered you from. There is more ahead. There is better ahead so keep going. Keep pressing forward. Keep the faith and don’t look back. When the going gets hard, remember that “Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning” (Ps 30:5)

Until next time,

The Revelation Behind Rejection

I was reflecting lately on rejection and relationships. And obviously one thing that came to my mind is the saying “ you never know what you have until you have lost it” and for a while I used to scream amen to it until I came to terms with the fact that, while it is true (to some extent), they are some people in this world that have lost me and will never know what it means to have lost me. And the reason why they will never know that is because they never knew what they had in the first place. 

Knowing the magnitude of a loss comes with a revelation of what you had in the first place and what it represents for you, at a personal level. The very first place of the human revelation of receiving something good was with Adam when God gave him Eve. God made everything from the ground including man but when it came to the woman, she was made out of Adam's rib. Adam did not have a mirror and my guess is he didn’t know what he looked like. He didn’t know what Eve was made of or how she was made. And yet, when he woke up from the sleep God had put him under, He saw Eve and said : “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” (Gen 2:23). God didn’t tell Adam about his plan so how could he possibly know that she was made from him? I’d like to believe that there was a divine insight that Adam had that made him recognize what he had been given and what it represented for him. 

Outside of the realm of romantic relationships, I believe that the knowledge of how important people are to us and the importance of what they carry within themselves is a matter of revelation. And the way they treat us correlates to whether or not they have received that revelation. And you don’t go around telling people who/what you are to them: they have to find out for themselves. As a Christian, I believe that type of revelation/discernment is not common sense/ common knowledge but rather comes from walking closely with God (john 4:10)

When I understood that people’s ability to steward me properly was tied to the revelation of who I was to them, I realized that what they did and the way they acted towards was never personal. That’s also when the terms “rejection is God’s redirection” took a deeper meaning for me. And God led me to Matt 7:6 to understand what that means from a Biblical perspective. 

“Do not throw your pearls before pigs, for they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” 

Jesus’ analogy depicts what it looks like to invest something valuable (our time, emotions, gifts/talents, our own selves, etc…) into people and places that have no revelation of their/our value and that lack the stewardship skills to handle it properly. The end result is those things being trampled. I was curious about what happens when pigs trample things, so I went to look it up and this is what I found: 

“When pigs trample, they can cause significant damage to crops, fields, and other agricultural areas. They can destroy plants, damage fences, and even contaminate food sources, leading to financial losses and health risks. Additionally, their rooting and digging behavior can damage the soil structure, impacting long-term productivity.”

A lot of us are damaged and broken because we trusted people and spaces with valuable things about us that they were never meant to get a hold of and they trampled them. Jesus’ word is an invitation to discern our target audience. Not everyone is meant to hold the most sacred part of us. Not everyone is meant to have access to our hopes, dreams. I like to equate the most sacred and intimate parts of us to the Holy of Holy which was the innermost and most sacred chamber within the Tabernacle and then within the Temple that was built to the Lord. Back then the temple was a physical building, but now our bodies are the physical temple (1 co 6:19). So we ought to be diligent about who has access to us, to our hearts, to our lives, to our gifts. But most importantly we ought to be diligent about the places we dwell in, the tables we sit at and the companies we choose to entertain. 

Understanding those things helped me to not dwell too much on longing for the tables I used to sit at that God flipped, the relationships that God severed so the right connections can be made and the doors God closed so that I could walk through the ones He opened for me. That revelation is itself didn’t necessarily make things easy but it made it easier: easier to mourn properly, easier to not ruminate day in and day out and constantly ask "why?", easier to move on, easier to see things for what they were instead of longing for things/people that were nothing but a construct of my mind because I projected onto those places and people the God/Godly characteristics that I carried but didn't always received back. 

My invitation to you is to think about the people and the places that welcome you and value you: all of you, not just what you bring but also who you are, and the people and places that don’t; and to decide where you would rather cast your pearls. The most precious pearl of all (Jesus) was given to the world so that you would know how valuable you are. There is a place for you, a seat prepared, people that you are and will be an answered prayer to. Your target audience is out there and I pray that in due time, you find it and that it finds you.

Until next time,

The test of obedience or the hidden hardship in simplicity

“The path of obedience to God is simple, yet often the hardest road to walk—requiring both trust and surrender.”– Unknown

                                    

Hello and welcome back to another article. You thought I was going to fall into the usual pattern and leave you hanging again huh? Well hopefully this year is the year of consistency and new beginnings where I will try my best (by God’s grace) to keep this train choo-chooing. 

This particular article is a testament to how God has a great sense of humor. I have always said that the words that I write here minister to me first before they go out into this world to do what they do. Or sometimes they minister to me later when I go through seasons where those words make sense and resonnate. But one thing is for sure, these words are also for me. And this article here is not any different. It is almost midnight, and as I type those words I am exhausted. After a very long day, my plan was to wrap up the day and start unwinding to go to bed but God had a simple instruction for me: put those words in writing. Simple right? Right. However just because the instruction was simple, doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard to execute. The tiredness in my body made it hard for me to walk in obedience but here we are. 

As I was going about my day today, God had already started to plant the seed of what this article was going to be about. He led me into the book of 2 kings 5 which narrates the story of how Naaman, a very influential man got healed but almost missed out on his miracle because the instruction was too simple for his liking. Long story short (you should really read for yourself): Naaman had leprosy, one of his servant (a young girl) said : “hey, there is a Prophet in Samaria, he would heal my master if he would just go see him”. Naaman took that information to the king and the king gave him permission to go. Once Naaman went to Samaria, he was expected to be received by Elisha with the highest honors but to his dismay,  Elisha didn’t even come out to see him: he sent someone else to give him the instruction that would unlock his miracle. He got upset and wanted to return home but “But his officers tried to reason with him and said, ‘Sir, if the prophet had told you to do something very difficult, wouldn’t you have done it? So you should certainly obey him when he says simply, ‘Go and wash and be cured!’. So Naaman went down to the Jordan River and dipped himself seven times, as the man of God had instructed him. And his skin became as healthy as the skin of a young child, and he was healed!” (2 kings 5: 13-14)

This is a perfect example of how we miss out on miracles because we judge God’s instruction too simplistic and yet, there is a hidden hardship in it: the test of obedience. As humans, we all for the most part, are wired to like a challenge and to question the simple stuff. And that is where the difficulty is for us. We tend to associate simple with ease when most of the time, they couldn’t be further away from each other because of our sinful nature, because of pride or because life experiences have skewed our view of of life (“it cannot be that easy”, “that’s a trap”, “what is the catch?”, etc…) 

We are so used to the hard things that the simplicity of God in the way he requires for us to do things throws us in for a loop. But it is really as we sit and practice what He is asking of us or go from a place of hearing to doing, that we realize that the simple things are in fact not easy and require from us humility and the grace of God in order to obey and take hold of our miracles. Sometimes, we miss out because the miracle does not come wrapped in the packaging we want or it does not look like a rubic’s cube. And so we overlook it or look at what God is presenting to us as the blueprint as beneath us, when in fact, it does come with the perfect level of challenge that we need to rise to the next level. As someone that has been in the biotech industry for years now and that has worked in the lab, big repairs are important but it is the fine tuning and calibration of instruments that makes a big and noticeable difference in the quality of the output. And sometimes, the “simple things” that God requires from us are the things that produce the difference that we so long for.

“So what are you saying?” What I am saying is : sometimes it is not about praying for two hours or fasting 40 days. Yes they are great things to practice, however, if they do not come from and align with obedience, I am afraid you are missing the point. I will leave you with this: if you are have been praying and asking God : “Lord what’s next?” And what you have been hearing from God is either the same instruction or crickets, make sure you stop, go back and check that you have done the last thing God has asked you to do. And if you think it is too simple, maybe you are missing the point again. It is not about how simple or complicated it is, it is about our pride and how hard it is to submit to God because we think we are above certain things. The fine tuning of the heart posture is the most important process a believer can go through because the posture of the heart determines the outcomes of a lot of things in life (prov 4:23)

I pray and hope these words blessed you in the ways God intended for them to. 

Until next time,

Can You Be Thankful For The Rain?

I was listening to a recognition speech by Iyanla Vanzant and she opened her address by being grateful. As most of us would do, she presented the good things she was grateful for. But she also added to her list the things that most of us would have concealed or not brought up as there is probably nothing to be grateful about when it comes to them. At least that is my opinion. And her ability to speak on those things and say she is grateful for them prompted this article. And although the words that I am using is different, it is still about the posture of the heart and the ability to look beyond the negativity that could be associated with the things we go through in life. I have a habit of saying that the words that write minister to me first before they go out in this world and do what they do. And this article right here is no exception.

We all love the beautiful flowers we get in the spring, but not all of us appreciate the rain that allows them to grow and bloom and bring about the beautiful bouquets that we gift people just because or on special occasions. We love the beautiful gardens that we tend to and take so much pride in but we are not too keen on the weather inconveniences when the sky turns gray and it starts pouring. But the rain in life represents the things that sometimes wash away our hopes (or reveals it when all the impurities are gone), the rain represents things in our life that interrupt the “good flow” that we were experiencing. But it is also the water that refreshes, the water that brings life, the water that makes the soil soft enough so that whatever has been planted can breakthrough and come to the surface. More often than not we complain when the rain hits our life. We complain of the rainy reasons that we go through not understanding what lies on the other side of it. We complain about the rainy season because we look mostly at what we are loosing not realizing that yes, there might be loss, but there is also what is being flushed, carried away with the rain so that it will not poison the new that is about to come. God is the creator of all elements and all seasons; and everything He allows in our life has a purpose. It is sometimes painful and most of the time it doesn’t make sense, but one thing remains: there is goodness in ALL He does.

In my times of trouble, I always go back to the book of Job. Not because I want to be like him but because I am always intrigued by how he handled the greatest raining season of his life: trials and tribulations came down pouring. And when everyone around him, including his wife, advised against him sticking by God, he said: "We accept good things from God. So we should also accept trouble when he sends it" (Job 2:10). Job had it all and when the rain of trials and tribulations came and he lost everything, his posture remained the same. He blessed God because, even though he didn’t understand why he was going through all that he went through, he understood that there was purpose in it. He understood that we cannot just praise God and be okay when things are good: we also need to remain in same posture when the sun isn’t shinning anymore and it is pouring.

There is a song by Maverick city Music that I really like and it’s titled : Promises. It is one of the songs that I listen to most to because there is a part of the bridge that goes like this:

Yes, I'll still bless You

In the middle of the storm, in the middle of my trial

I'll still bless You

In the middle of the road, when I don't know where to go

I'll still bless You (yeah)

In the middle of my storm, in the middle of my trial

I'll still bless You (yeah)

When I'm in the middle of the road and I don't know which way to go

I'll still (I'll still bless You)

I'll still bless You

and then it goes on to say :

I'll still bless You, oh (I'll still bless You)

I've got a reason to bless You, yeah

I've got a reason to bless You (I'll still bless You)

I've got a reason to bless Your name

You've been faithful, You've been faithful (I'll still bless You)

You've been so good to me, You've been so good

I love this so much because it speaks of the places I have been in life and it speaks to the struggles I am still facing in my journey with Christ. It is not always sunshine sometimes it rains hard but God’s goodness doesn’t stop when it rains: just as his love is enduring, so is his goodness.

I want to leave you with this: do you remember what happened after is rained on the earth for 40 nights and 40 days? Well if you don’t let me remind you. it says in Gen 8:1-2 that “God remembered Noah and all the animals, wild and tame, that were with him in the ark. So God made a wind sweep over the earth, and the waters began to subside. The fountains of the abyss and the floodgates of the sky were closed, and the downpour from the sky was held back.” 

I want you to keep in your heart the words “God remembers”. When going through a rainy and trying season, it is VERY easy and also normal to wonder if God forgot about us. But I want you to hold onto these words as a reminder that God remembers… He always does. how do I know? He says so Himself in Isaiah 49:16.

'But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me,

the Lord has forgotten me.”

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast

and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget,

I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

your walls are ever before me.”'

God has your name engraved in the palms of his hands. He has not forgotten you. Never has and never will. So I pray you will hold on a little longer because on the other side of the rain, there is sunshine, there is growth and there is restauration. If you ever find yourself out of words or prayers you can say to God as you go through the rain, maybe just say “thank you God for the rain. And thank you for what is coming after the rain is over”. God will see you through and when the time is right, He will turn things around for you. So be encouraged.

Until next time, 

Make Yourself Home But Don't Get Too Comfortable

I used to believe that the ultimate test of a human being’s character was taking everything away from them. Then I came to realized that just as scarcity reveals a person true colors, so does abundance. So over time, I found myself disagreeing more about the statement “things got better for them and they changed”. The truth is they never changed: who they really were got revealed.

Years ago, God took me on a journey. It was the rumbling: I was tested in the season of “not having” and through it all, I held on to the confession of my faith as best as I could. It is not to say that I was all perfect in my walk. Far from that. I stumbled. I wrestled with my faith. I had beef at times with God but I always went back to the one place that I knew for a fact was always safe for me: God’s presence. Just right there, at the foot of the cross. And I waited. I waited for prayers to be answered. I waited for the breakthrough. And it came. It took 13 years but it came. It felt like forever when I was in the midst of it and yet when the floodgates of heaven opened, the blessings came rushing all at once. Something only God knows how to do. It feels like only not too long ago I was saying “But God… When? What about me?” to now praising as God ushered me into the season I was praying relentlessly for.

And now, my prayer has changed. I am no longer worried about the lack. I am worried that being ushered in season of rest and refreshment will make me too comfortable and cause me to forget that there is still a road to travel. Not too long ago during a prayer night at my church, someone brought up the story of Elijah at the brook. And as I stood in my kitchen, thinking about these here words, it came back to my mind and my inner prayer was : “God don’t let me get so comfortable with where I’m at in life that I forget you still need me to go places because there is still a mission”. Bold and scary right? I know... But it was important for me to keep in mind that the purpose of a place of refreshment is to refresh yourself, to replenish, to revive. I looked it up and found a definition that I like better and that is more fitting for the theme of this article. It said to refresh is to restore strength. And it is exactly what God did for Elijah at the brook: He had water and the ravens brought him food (bread and meat) in the morning and at night. Homeboy had two free, square meals, free water, he had down time and nobody was bothering him. As an introvert this is a dream. But then, the brook dried up and God instructed Elijah go to Zarephath where He had instructed a widow to take care of him. Knowing myself and how I am, I know for a fact that the only reason I would move into the next season of my life is because God would have made the one that I am in unbearable. I have a hard time with transitions and change so it is not something that I would do willingly; and if I did, I would lose precious time overthinking the move even if the word came from God. Having been through that before (because it’s seems to be God’s Modus Operandi that works best on me) I started to pray that prayer. I started to pray for a spirit that is keen on obeying and moving when it’s time because comfort is attractive. And as attractive as it is, it is also one of the biggest reasons why most people, myself included, would settle for a fraction of what God has in store for us. It is never easy to leave comfort: think about how hard it is to leave your bed in the morning; not to mention a life fully sponsored by God (Elijah was living the life!). As much as I want to believe that Elijah would have obeyed God without batting an eye if He had said "move!", there is a lot less to think about when God tells you to move especially when: 1) moving when the situation you find yourself in is less than ideal; and 2) it is more beneficial for you to be on the move because God has already made arrangements for where He needs you next.

These past years, the idea that my life (and the goodness that is birthed from being pressed through trials) is not all about me is sinking in more and more. Just like the move wasn’t solely about Elijah, I am coming to the realization that I can be selfish if I want to but, because this mission that I am on is way bigger than me and what I want, God will find a way to keep me moving. Why? Because someone’s breakthrough and miracle is connected to me and a delay on my part can have a ripple effect. And as much as you can argue with God about picking someone else to fulfill the mission He put you onto, there are some missions that God cannot pick someone else for. How do I know? Look at the story of Moses when God picked him! He basically told God “with all due respect? pick someone else!” (in a very paraphrased, Black Living Translation version). And what did God do? He made him go still but was kind enough to give Moses a spokesman (Aaron). God has a sense of humor... Kinda... God insisted on Moses going because that mission could only be fulfilled by him. No one else. 

I want to close with this: the Bible says “weeping may endure for a night but Joy comes in the morning” (Ps 30:5). Nothing is permanent. And whatever you are going through, know that “this too shall pass”. However, I pray that when all the trials, tribulations and sorrows pass, two things remain in you:  the love of God and the awareness that you are still on a mission. And the mission only ends when we take our last breath and transition into the Glory to be with God. And you may ask “what is my mission?” Well the common mission as Christians is to further the Kingdom of God on this earth but the one that God has personally assigned to you is one that you will have to go to God about and find out for yourself. And my prayer is that you do find out what it is and that you run that race to the end well. My prayer is that you run it so well that when you meet your creator, the words that He welcomes you with are :“Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord” (Matt 25:23).

Until then, “...May the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you” (1 Pe 5:10-11)

The Brady Effect: Yes, You Can Come Back From That

Years ago I had freshly entered a relationship with someone I had strong feelings for and felt strongly about. I had known him for a couple of years and my family knew him too before we got together. And at that time, I remember having a conversation with a very good friend of mine and telling her I hope that relationship works because I didn’t think I would recover if things didn’t work. And her immediate response was “don’t say that. You can always recover and bounce back from anything. You think you cannot but when you are confronted with life and your only choice is to keep moving you will find the strength. Don’t let your life or story end because someone decides to go.” And as life would have it, things didn’t work. And I was devastated. But what I realized later, through the tears, was that my friend was right. I bounced back. From that heartbreak and from the ones that ensued. One after the other.

My inspirations usually come from videos. And the one for this article is no different. I watched a man speak about losing his wife 41 days after their marriage. I watched him speak about how he had to pull the plug on his wife and watch her take her last breath. I also watched him talk about the Brady effect: about how as long as you still have time on your clock you can make a comeback at ANY time. The journey of resiliency is tiring. And over the years, I became increasingly scared of sitting with my feelings or confronting situations head on because I thought if I got under, I don’t know that I will be able to come out the other side. But time and time again, life and God proved me that there was no other possibility than to come out the other side. Sure some days and times, it took more from me to come out the other side. Some days I had to fight harder and kick harder but in the end I always made it. I always made a comeback.

It reminded me that I am wired for it. It reminded me that everytime I think I do not have it in me anymore to fight or to move, I still have a little bit left to give the final big push that will get my head out of the water so that I can take another big, deep breath to keep swimming until I can safely get to the shore. The Brady effect… Such a powerful imagery of how anything is possible even until the very last minute. Such a powerful analogy of how at any given moment you can tilt the scale to the other side and come back on top of things again. Such a powerful analogy to say the simple thing: while the clock is running keep running for “this too shall pass”. The pain will pass. The tears will pass. The feeling of hopelessness and helplessness will pass. The night will pass…

Joseph went from being in a prison to being elevated to one of the highest ranks in egypt. Psalms 30:5 says “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning”. He understood that. Now the Bible doesn’t say much about Joseph mental or emotional state while waiting for the tides to turn for him; but I can only imagine that there might have been days where he wanted to give up and I wouldn’t blame him. But he sat tight, and kept going knowing that in the end, what God had revealed, somehow would come to pass. It took years before the tide finally turned but it did. And it did because he didn’t give up.

My hope for you as I write this article is that you don’t give up. I do not know why my theme lately revolves around encouraging you to hold on. Perhaps it is an encouragement to my own soul, I do not know… My prayer however is that it also encourages someone. It is not late. You are not late. It is not over for you. You still have time on your clock and you can still make a comeback if you would just hold on and keep going. I am rooting for you. You got this.

Forgive Anyway

 

"Vengeance is Mine, and retribution, In due time their foot will slip; for the day of their disaster is at hand, And their doom hurries to meet them." Deut.32:35

 

It is hard. I know. It is not the words you want to hear when you are hurting, barely able to breathe because of the weight of the offense. When you are having an out of body experience, when you are constantly and consistently trying to make sense of the hurt. When you are replaying it over and over in your head to the point where you lose sleep over it. It is painful... I know… But forgive anyway.

The problem with forgiveness is not the concept in and of itself but rather, the interpretation that we make of it. 

Forgiveness does not equate forgetting: the memory of the hurt will remain. But what you choose to do through forgiveness is to not re-actualize the condemnation associated with the wrong that you suffered. 

Forgiveness is not being weak: forgiveness- if not one of them- is the HARDEST thing you will ever have to do in life. It is surrendering your right to get even. If you have ever been in a situation where you feel like you were right and were done wrong, and you had to fight the urge to prove your point, then you know what I am talking about. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to practice, and it is an everyday thing. You never really get “there” because the minute you forgive an offense, another level unlocks.

Forgiveness is not a once and done deal: it is a constant surrender of your feelings, emotions every time the memory of the offense triggers you. It is running back to God and not being ashamed to say: “hey that thing that hurt me? It is still triggering all kind of emotions within me. Can you help me?” Recovering from a hurt doesn’t happen overnight.

Forgiveness is a decision to not base your interaction and behavior with someone on the hurt they caused you. It’s hard… I know… I cringed writing that because I know how hard it is and because I tend to define my interactions to people based off what they give me. But the real kicker is that me “matching their energy” says a lot more about my character than it does about them. I used to believe in matching energy, then I realized that I spoke more about a person’s character vs get even. I also realized that I didn’t want to get even. It was too much work to get out of my way to get back at people and for some of the things that I have been through, I could even think of anything that would hurt some people as much as their actions hurt me. I was exhausted. I just wanted to move on. I wanted to do the inner work and get to a peaceful place. Being intentional about forgiving gave me that because you see, unforgiveness will keep you stuck in the past. It will rob you of your joy, your peace, and your ability to move forward in life. What also helped me in my forgiveness journey is remembering that a) God sits high but he watches low and b) He will make all the wrong right in the end. It might take time, but I have seen instances when I let go and forgave and God avenged me better than I could have ever done it myself. To forgive is not to be stupid: it is to trust that God is a better rewarder than we can ever be and to believe that nobody, not even us, can avenge someone better than Him.

Forgiveness is divine, it is the ultimate act of love. For yourself and for others because remember that as a Christian you are to “love your neighbor as yourself”. Forgiveness is not much about someone else than it is about you: to love yourself enough to forgive someone else and set yourself free. It is a demonstration of the divine power in you because the truth is that to understand all that was written in this post about forgiveness and practice it, requires more than will power. It requires a supernatural power above your own to go against every “natural” instinct to inflict pain and damage when you have been on the receiving end of it.

People -whether they mean it or not- will hurt you. It is an undeniable fact and something we don't have that much control over. However, we do have control over our response (notice I said response and not reaction) to it. You get to decide if you want to stay stuck in it or move on with your life. It might seem like a huge and almost impossible ask to forgive but it is up to you to decide if not forgiving is worth losing yourself and your life to the pain you have endured. The choice is yours.

Until next time,

In The Name Of Love

 

We live in a society where we are constantly encouraged to be honest and blunt but a lot of us equate honesty with being rude and borderline disrespectful. we offer words that hurt, leave the heart and soul scarred on a gold platter, expecting people to absorb them under the premise of "tough Love". 

It is not foreign to me and although the way in which people deliver it sometimes makes me question if there is love buried under some of the words that are said, I understand the idea of it. It is a concept in which we supposedly give people the “red pill”. And if you are familiar with the matrix, then you know that the red pill is supposed to be the one that gives you the truth/ reality (although reality is subjective) while the blue pill maintains you into blissful ignorance. So to speak. Something happened to me earlier today and I thought I would make it a practical case of writing and perhaps helping someone be more mindful of the way tough love is being delivered by them. As people we are to correct the people we love in order to see them do well ( and also be better) in life. To rebuke and correct as a Christian is something that is prescribed in the Bible. However, it is a task we should not be carrying haphazardly. I will take my personal example and say that I get sensitive to criticism. And perhaps my sensitivity to it has shaped and weighed a lot more in the way I chose to offer criticism/feedback to people when warranted. Not only has it shaped the way I offer criticism, it has also shaped the way I correct people. People sometimes offer tough love from a place that is only tough, with no love as a foundation to support the feedback that is being delivered. Someone can offer tough love with their words with their energy still being warm and loving. And that is something you cannot fake. That is how you know that the person means good for you and not evil. Tough love still has love as the foundation. Or at least, it should.  It is not disrespectful and it is given in a way that points you into a direction that is better and higher than where you stand at the moment. As Christians, we are to represent Christ and the way we correct/ rebuke others is not to be excluded from the ways we represent Him. We are called to do everything in love (1co16:14), including expressing disapproval and correction. The Bible says in Hebrews 5:2 “He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and misguided, since he himself is beset by weakness.” I love how that passage deals with the two kinds that we will have to correct: the ignorant and the misguided. And people are misguided by all kinds of things including themselves. But there are also the people that genuinely do not know better. Whichever category they find themselves in doesn’t matter. The thing that matters is that we are to deal with them gently as Christ himself deals with them gently. 

Not too long ago, someone reached out to me regarding a task they had to complete (and that I would generally provide guidance on) and notified me that they were done. But when I went ahead to check, the task was absolutely nowhere to be completed. I quickly reached out and laid out the steps that the person had to complete before coming back to me and marking the task as complete. But something about my rebuttal/correction was wrong and the Lord convicted me quickly about it. My correction came from a place of belittling and making the person feel small. The person might not have picked it up, but I did. It came from a place of subconsciously making the person feel dumb. I didn’t disrespect the person. I was polite but the undertone and the way in which I matter-of-factly laid out the steps made me realize that I didn’t come from a loving and healthy place. Which led to me writing these words. Warren Wiersbe once said  “Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.” My personal experience walking this earth everyday is that I am witnessing more and more people offering “the truth” without love as the foundation. And a lot of times it is brutal and emotional manhandling at best, emotional manslaughter in the worst case scenario. A lot of good messages are being lost in translation because people are not building their delivery of truth on love. They want to be right, they want to hurt, they want to prove a point. No truth is cute or easy to say, but there is a way to show up and deliver it that can (and will) save someone. I am not saying we should be sugarcoating things and dancing around issues when they are there. What I am saying is we should work on finding better ways to deliver our messages of rebuttal/correction; ways that make people feel seen, heard, respected. Ways that makes them feel like they matter and that our delivery of what we deem the truth is more for their good than your own gain. 

Maybe this will fall into the pit of the never ending criticism and the resounding hymn of people claiming that my generation is too sensitive, that we cannot take criticism or be told wrong. But I hope and pray that it will stay on your mind. I hope and pray that before you go ahead and correct someone and/or offer feedback, you will pause for a moment and wonder where that correction/ feedback and rebuttal is coming from. Is it coming from a place of love? Is the criticism laid on the foundation of love? Or is it coming from a place of hurt or self gain? I hope and pray this week, you go around and “do everything in love” whether you believe in God or not, because in the actual state of this world, we could all use a little bit of it. 

Until next time,

Help Is On The Way

"Feelings buried alive do not die: they fester and they show up as inappropriate behaviors"

I will never forget the day I heard those words from Iyanla vanzant. It was as if everything suddenly fell into place for me: as far as how I was living my own life, but also as far as how I had grown up and the things that I had witnessed. It wasn’t anything horrific; if anything at all, it was the usual and normal dysfunction that you would see in most families. It sounds like a paradox but if you have grown up in an environment where dysfunction was normalized from one generation to another, then you know it makes sense even when it doesn’t. Another day I will never forget, is also a day when everything went particularly wrong and in that moment I thought “Gosh, if I offed myself I would be SO Much better”. That particular day, at that very moment, I was sitting on the floor in my kitchen and stayed there for what felt like hours. It was as if I was there but my mind just blanked. And when I came back, I called my sister and talked to her because I was afraid I was going to do something. I was afraid I was going to hurt myself and the people that I loved in the process and cause irreparable damage. In the upcoming weeks, I started looking and asking for help. And that is how I got into therapy. The rest is history.

The most common misconception about suicide is that people crossing the line want to die and that it is the "easy way out". But the reality is that a lot of people can plan to kill themselves but only strong people actually do it. Another paradox. If you have ever almost drowned or found yourself in a situation where you almost died, you know how powerful your survival instincts can be. You know and have witnessed how your body can almost instantly turn into a machine and make you do things that, upon reflecting back, you think : “ I never thought I had so much strength” or “ I never thought I could one day in my life do this”. If you know how strong those survival instincts are, then you know how strong you have to be to override them and cross that final line when everything in you is fighting to stay alive. Suicide ideation is not always (or necessarily) “I want to die”; sometimes it is- I am speaking from my own perspective and experience- “I want to stop feeling that pain” and at the moment, death feels like the only, ultimate and most efficient way. I for sure thought that. And after years of being in therapy and surrounded by the most supportive and amazing people I could have asked for, I cannot lie to you and say that the idea of leaving on my own terms doesn't cross my mind anymore. It does once in a while... But when it does, I throw away the mantle of shame that kept me struggling for years and I reach out. I talk when I feel on the edge, when the pressure is too much and things are getting out of hand. But you shouldn’t have to wait that long. Nobody should have to. Why? Because by the time some of us get to that point it is too late and irreparable damage has already been done. I grew up in a culture where we did not normalize talking about those things. You know… Feelings? Mental health? Being depressed? Because more often than not, people struggling with mental health issues are met with shame and told that that’s just the way life is and you have to “toughen up”- whatever that means. Growing up in Africa and being black, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people around me dub depression as “white people problem”. And if you hold that statement as a magnifying glass, you can see why the rate of suicide in the black community is growing at an alarming rate. You also can see why people of color struggle to seek help when things start unraveling. Not only is there a race stigma but also a propaganda along the lines of “therapy is for the weak” that is creating mass graves where more and more people, black and white, young and old, male and female are heading and being buried into. Literally and figuratively.

To be vulnerable and talk about your struggles is not being weak. To seek help and support is not being weak. It is the greatest act of courage you can ever model and demonstrate. An act of courage that can also save someone’s life because believe me, the biggest lie you can tell yourself is that nobody is watching. Someone is ALWAYS watching you and what you do and say can do or undo someone’s destiny, life and future. You deserve to be here. You matter. You are loved and you are seen. I cannot tell you what the other side feels like because everyday is a new day, a different day and just like any other journey, it has its ups and downs. But one thing that I can tell you for sure, is that it gets better. It takes time and work and accountability but it does get better. And you will get better but only if you stick around and show up everyday, will you be able to witness it, see it, live it like I did. And I pray you do. 

If you are looking for a sign to keep fighting, this is your sign right here. If you are feeling like giving up, I pray this article right here will be your life line. I want to leave you with this closing blessing that the Bishop of my Church speaks over the congregation every Sunday without fail. It has deeply blessed me and kept me in some of the hardest days that I have gone through and I have faith it will do that for you too. It is titled The Priestly Blessing over God's people (found in Numbers 6:24-26) and it goes like this: 

MAY the Lord bless you and protect you (look after you, shield you, defend you, and take care of you)

MAY the Lord make His face shine (grin, beam, and show His pleasure) on you and, may the Lord be gracious, kindhearted pleasant, and compassionate) to you.

MAY the Lord show you His favor that will (promote you, appreciate you, support you, and side with you as you side with Him) And Finally...

MAY the Lord give you HIS SHALOM: His peace, His rest, His harmony, His calmness, His composure, His prosperity, His success

And may the Lord remove anything that causes agitation or discord with His Divine Purpose and Destiny for Your Life. I bless you in the Name of Jesus Christ!

PS: There is a song too! Actually two versions of it that you can find here and here.

PSS: If you need prayer and support you can find it here and here.

Hang in there Beloved, Help is coming! Praying for you and over you because you matter and the world needs you, whether you believe it or not. 

Until next time, 

Life Sucks. And It's Okay.

A few months ago I got news. It was something that I partly expected and partly hoped would not come. Still it came. Coincidentally enough, that same day, I was scheduled to see my therapist. So when she asked "what's new?" I spilled the beans using all the vocabulary that I could find to express how I felt and "good" wasn't one of the words I would have used to described how I felt. After I was done talking, my therapist said “And yet, here you are, smiling, cracking jokes and saying ‘I will ride this one out and make it work’”. I had a weird sense of calm because I was expecting the storm will hit, but I was less certain about when. And I guess at that time, because the cat was finally out of the bag, I could finally stop holding my breath. I could start breathing again. 

I love how Iyanla Vanzant once said that sometimes our spirit catches things before we consciously (and physically) catch them. This was an instance where I did. And I had time to go through the emotional process, so when the tsunami hit, I had already come to terms with it. Or so I thought. One thing that I have noticed though going through this journey called life, is that it takes a minute for my emotions to catch up. So I eventually kept a tab open about how the calm that I was sitting in was possibly a precursor of an emotional tsunami that could hit at any given time. And it did. Much sooner than anticipated. This time however, instead of judging myself, I gave myself the greatest gift I could have, one that I so deeply needed; not only from myself but from the world: I gave myself kindness, compassion and understanding. I gave myself permission to be okay with the fact yes I had come to term with what was happening but “Boy does it suck!” to quote Brené. It did suck. And in the moment where I broke down in silent tears and sobs, all I could hear, while convincing myself that I knew the outcome and that things would turn out the way they did, was literally Brené Brown saying “you took a risk. You failed. And it sucks but you showed up”. Not very helpful but weirdly comforting as I am currently traveling through her book Rising Strong (I guess God already had everything lined up for me to have a lifeline because He knew how fast things were going to get real). Comforting because it gave me permission to sit in my feelings instead of going with the story line that I had already mentally rehearsed in order to override them and go to the next things. I gave myself permission to stop minimizing my situation by way of derision or fake (or real) optimism. I gave myself permission to stop trying to climb out of the hole I was in so fast. I simply gave myself permission to say “it sucks” while siting in the emotional hole and really feel that pain without heat, without judgement. I gave myself permission to be vulnerable with myself and to be human. And it sounds so silly to write but there have been plenty of time where I denied myself the opportunity to be vulnerable with myself, not to mention with the rest of the world. I simply couldn’t because of (again) the stories that I kept telling myself: “I do not have time to feel this” and “If I give into this emotionally, I am not sure I will come out the other way” But me being here is proof that I have come out the other side before and that I will again. And guess what? Things worked out in the end. 

As I got news today (not the kind I expected to hear), I figured this was the perfect post for the moment. Not only to encourage someone out there reading this post, but also to encourage myself. To remind myself that knowing that the outcome of a decision will be unfavorable, taking a risk, failing and being okay with it, doesn’t take away from the fact that it still sucks. It is okay to create space for feelings such as disappointment and sadness when things do not work out. Sitting with those feelings and processing them doesn't make us weak but instead work our resiliency muscle and give us a pathway to come out the other side when we go through the storm again. Failure -whether we expect it or not- sucks. And there is no part about admitting it that is weak. But to know, to admit it and to feel it and to try again, is the biggest proof of how strong we can possibly be in the face of trials and adversity. Failure is not the end and a delay is not a denial. In due time, things will happen the way they are supposed to and the tides will turn, so be encouraged.

Until next time, 

God Cares

For years, I have been stuck in a mental stronghold and it is that “nobody cares”. Funny how said like that it sounds much more sinister than the “nobody cares: work harder” picture frame that was on the wall of my former Jiujitsu school. One pushed you to go beyond your fear of ridicule in order to improve and the other did the opposite: keep you from the perceived ridicule of that comes with vulnerability. I lived life caring too much for what people would think and say about me and my life while at the same time harboring the belief that whether things were good or bad nobody cared. It is a belief that has led me to live a life of isolation even when I was (and still am) surrounded by loving people who genuinely wanted to walk life with me.

And I will not lie, it is a heavy burden to carry. One that, albeit I could decide any day to drop, but if you have ever tried to drop a bad habit and form a new one, you know how difficult it can be. And not too long ago, this weight got heavy. So heavy that it seemed to crush every good thing in me. So heavy that it was breaking my heart a little bit. One Saturday morning, I got into my car, going about my business and I remember praying to God and being honest about how I felt not very loved and appreciated and asking Him for a God Wink. I asked Him to show up and to remind me that I’m loved. And then I went about my business. The next day was a regular church day. So I got up and got ready and made my way to church. I get there and the Bishop mentioned that the florist he and his wife always go to wanted to do something special for the church: every women that attended service would receive a rose a the end of it. To some people it might seem like nothing but to me, it was an answered prayer. God knew. He was there. He orchestrated that surprise that specific Sunday after praying the prayer I prayed the day before to let me know that He heard me and that He cared. And that I was loved, cherished, and appreciated. I don’t believe in luck: I believe in divine timing/ appointments, and I know that God had planned for this so that I would be encouraged.

There was a side of me that didn’t want to include my feelings into my prayer. It is the part of me that has gotten very good at pretending all is well when all hell is breaking lose. The part of me that smiles at the world while crying myself to sleep in the intimacy of my darkest hours. But I went against everything that I know how to do so well because “nobody cares” and spoke to God because truly, if I can’t be honest with Him then who? And I am glad I did because if I hadn’t a) I wouldn’t gotten what I needed in that moment and b) I would have carried that burden for a while until it crushed me or until I projected my feelings/frustration onto somebody else and crushed them with some things that I absolutely nothing to do with them.

There are a few passages from the Bible that I want to leave you with that I hope will encourage you and fill you up when you feel like your cup is either running low or empty When you feel like the world around you does not care at all about what you feel, remember that God does and 1 Peter 5:7 says so : “Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you”. If you feel like you are not seen or heard and that you have no worth, hold on to Matthew 10:29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows”. More importantly, know that God you were worth a life according to John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

When you feel like being quiet about what you desire and need because you feel like you will never have “it” or that “it” seems impossible, remember Mathew 7: 11 “ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” and James 4:2 “You do not have because you do not ask God.” But most importantly, remember that your father in Heaven can do 

 

Whether you believe (or think) the world around you does not care about you: know that your Father in Heaven does and His Word is a testament of it. All you have to do is draw near and know that you are seen, heard and “loved with an everlasting love” Jere (31:3)

Until next time,

Go Back To The Broken Dreams: A Love Letter From God

Last Sunday was Mothers day and when I think of motherhood (one of the best kinds of hoods), the first things that come to me are birthing and nurturing. And although this article was inspired by those two aspects of motherhood, the audience it is addressed to is not limited by factors such as the ability to physically give birth and the innate ability/inclination of women to be nurturers. I started writing this article thinking of mothers but quickly realized that it was meant to speak to the divine ability that God has put in each and everyone of us to birth and nurture our visions and dreams. 

The birthing of a vision can be painful and more or less long, a little bit at the image of the labor as a woman is about to give birth. And just like with birthing a baby, it doesn't always happen on our timeline and/or terms; no matter how much we try and how much efforts we put into it. As good people and/or Christians, although we have been trained/raised to praise God for what He does for other people, there is always the "why not me" sting and the silent sobs that quickly catch up to us in the quiet moments. Transparency moment: I have been through this. I have traveled down this road and felt the heartbreak when I did everything I could possibly do, prayed every prayer I could possibly pray and yet, "it" didn't happen for me. Yes I am a Christian and I have heard countless times sermons on trusting God's sovereign plan and timing, especially when things don't go my way. But beyond the inner, spiritual being, there is also the human part that feels heartbroken and aches over every broken and/or dead dream and/or vision that never come to pass

These past days, I have spent a lot of time in the books of Ezra and Nehemiah. And as I progressed through these books, God helped understand that not all broken dreams should be discarded and not all dead dreams should be buried. But most importantly, He reminded me that even if we bury those dreams, He can still bring them back to life like He did times and times again in the Bible because, between me and you: He is still that God. 

So let me give a little context to the book of Nehemiah before I get to the heart of my article: Israel is taken into exile in Babylon but a few of them remain in Jerusalem. Nehemiah who is one of the exiles, inquires of those left behind to new comers and wants to know how is Jerusalem doing. And of course, the answers to both questions is BAD. So Nehemiah seeks God and then, while attending to the King, asks him permission to return to Judah for a while so that he could rebuild the city (mainly the wall and the Temple as noted in Nehemiah and Ezra respectively). With the king's approval, Nehemiah got started on the vision/ mission God had put on his heart to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and the Temple. 

The ruins and rubles depicted in these two books (two books= two different accounts of the same story) represent what is left of the "old" glory (the things we had and lost) but also our dead dreams and lost hope. Ezra, Nehemiah and the other men going back to rebuild the Temple and the Wall of Jerusalem represent those of us that God is calling to go back to the broken dreams in order to rebuild them alongside to the people He has appointed for us to successfully carry the mission to completion. Considering that the mission came from God, we might assume that it would be a walk in the park but it is quite the opposite: this mission was full of threats, deceit and I am sure times where Nehemiah wanted to give up otherwise he wouldn't have prayed to God for strength (Nehe 6:6). Dealing with broken dreams/ lost hope can feel the same: it can bare the same dangers/ threats and the weight of it might, at time, make us feel like it is too much to handle. The triage and sorting, the cleaning and de-cluttering can be overwhelming for us but as much as it is for us, it isn't so to God. All we have to do is ask God for strength the way Nehemiah did and go back to the vision surrounded by the right people.

God used this devotional through the books of Nehemiah and Ezra to remind me that He is the God that can make something beautiful out of the ruins if we let Him. This reminder didn't necessarily take the pain away, but it helped me realize that sometimes, the dreams have to be shattered so that God can rearrange the pieces in a way that best suits his plan - whether it means removing pieces to make room for other things or adding more pieces in order to bring us to the realization that He can do "exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or imagine" (Eph 3:20). It also helped replace the grief with hope as I came to the realization that just because some of my dreams are broken, it doesn't mean that God can't use them. More importantly, journeying through those two books helped put in perspective the fact that the place where the ruins and chaos lay today can be (and will be) home to something beautiful in the time appointed by God; home to something that has more weight and glory than what was (Hag 2:9), home to something that will one day make me forget the trials and tribulations I ever had to walk through.

God also reminded me that the early stages of going back to those dreams, picking them up from the recycling bin and starting to work on them again might look like nothing; but just because it does look like nothing, doesn't mean that nothing is happening. When Elijah told Ahab that he had to eat and leave because the rain was coming, it wasn't raining yet. Elijah went to pray on the Carmel then sent his servant to look for any sign of rain. His servant went and looked again and again until the seventh time and even when he saw the cloud, he told Elijah it is just a small cloud. Those times where Elijah's servant went to look and saw nothing, there was something happening, it just wasn't visible until it was. And what he called a "small cloud" was what brought a "huge cloudburst" (1 kings 18: 41-46).

You might probably be tired. You might have probably given up on your dreams and if you're anything like me, you might have scoffed at a few of them as you angrily threw them in the trash can. But God is moving them to the recycling bin and He is saying "Go back and rebuild it.Go back to the dead ones. The ones that seem like nothing can come out of them again. The ones you thought couldn't be salvaged. Go back to them and pick them up for I will breathe life into them again. Go back to your dreams and start working on them again." (Eze 37) 

And it is okay if you can't right now. If you're too tired. If you have no strength. Rest here for a little bit. Catch your breath, cry if you must. And when you have done all of this and some more, go back to those dreams and try again, this time with God. 

Until next time,