Perfection is overrated: Be real



*Staring at my screen for almost an hour, trying to stay collected and figure out where to start with my article when really I am in panic in my head*

Crafting an opening act for an article is probably one of the most daunting task I have ever had to do as a blogger. No really… It is not as daunting as sitting in front of your computer for an hour, the eve of the day you are supposed to post something, asking yourself (in the middle of a panic attack) what you are going to write about... but it still is daunting. It is because you have to make the opening act appealing so that people want to keep reading and are thirsty for more. And sometimes what you sell in the opening act is great! And the content is great! And people are happy because they think “whoa that was great from the beginning to the end” but sometimes the opening act is just floppy (like right now… yeah…) but the content is deep and leaves you speechless and occasionally barely able to say “WOW… mind blowing… It started off really wacky but I am glad I kept reading”.

 

It is so funny how as I am writing my ideas and words are just finding each other and coming together as a whole to underline the myth of being perfect in an imperfect world. We have so much pressure to be perfect that we end up being something we are not, we end up writing stories about us and our lives that are not true just because we want to give an illusion of perfection that will make people stick around and say “whoa that was great from the beginning to the end”. But the reality is other: we are not perfect. For one reason or for another, we tend to get away from the first drafts of what we used to be. I can agree that the younger version of me was quite a bit of headache for myself at time and for the people around me, and I am more than happy with the individual I have become today. But somewhere in the middle of all that transition phase, I got stuck in the skin of someone I guess I wanted to be just because it made people happy. Or maybe because I thought it would help me fit in… where? I didn’t know I just kind of let myself get molded unconsciously. I was aiming for an ideal that didn’t exist, I was aiming for perfection.

And somewhere along the way I lost sight of everything: what I wanted, why I was going through that change… It was all blurry and I couldn’t help but feel as if something was missing. I was stuck in a life or rather a role that I wasn’t meant to be in and I remember thinking clearly “ I didn’t sign for this”. And truly, most of us did not intentionally, but we got trapped in all that. anyway  I felt like a prisoner until  I came to the realization that nobody is perfect. A least I am not. I mess up, I get hurt, I have highs and I have lows. Sometimes I have money, sometimes I'm broke. I have some areas of expertise and sometimes I am just totally clueless about other stuff. Sometimes I am able to find my way through life and sometimes I can’t seem to have the simplest things in life figured out. Having flaws and being imperfect is human nature and as human, being perfect is something that is out of reach. So why pretend? Why pretend we are perfect, trying to appear like we are all shinny while the light in our soul is getting dimmer day after day from all the efforts we put into conceal our flaws? You would tell me because flaws are unattractive? Well let me remind you that even diamonds have flaws and I would rather be a diamond with flaws than a pebble without.

I am perfectly imperfect, beautifully flawed and I owned it. In an ugly and twisted world such as the one we leave in, where everybody is trying to be all shinny and perfect (replace perfect in the sentence by fake), we should learn to appreciate the beauty in people owning their flaws and staying true to themselves. There is nothing wrong with having flaws and there is certainly nothing wrong with who you are to quote the British singer Jessy J. It is the world  we live in that is wrong: wrong for pressuring us to be people we are not and for trying to pass being human and having flaws for something wrong when it is perfectly normal as part of human nature.

 There is no use in “being perfect” from the outside and having an ugly heart and soul. Perfection is overrated especially if you are trying to be perfect in order to please other people. The people who truly love you will love you for who you are. They will love you as a whole and this means with your flaws too. They will love you at your best and at your worst. They will love you for you, for being real and for saying what you think. If you ever find yourself wondering if you should be true to the people you are surrounded with maybe it’s time you start rethinking your friendships because either you are being fake or the people surrounding you are being fake. And being fake and/or a person you are not in order to have the feeling that you belong to a community/ circle is the most certain way to be unhappy and miserable. Don’t let people or your environment change you: be true to yourself. Don’t get caught up leaving the real you on the shelf just because you want to fit in or fit the mold. Surround yourself with people who love your imperfect and beautiful self and respect your commitment to the truth because at the end of the day the people who mind don’t matter and the ones who matter don’t mind. 

10 things you can do to be happier in 2016

So this is it! It’s a new year… I know you are all excited and happy about all the things you are dreaming about accomplishing this year but please spare us with the "new year ,new me" thing: There! I said it *cringe*

I know it sounds mean but it is such a cliché! And plus we all know that by January 15^th that slogan along with the big resolutions you were planning on crushing will be down the sink. So why hate and get angry? Unless you are really determined to make it happen in which case : My bad I’m sorry… but still spare us with the slogan. Just make stuff happen and blow people’s mind off. I can guarantee you that there is no better feeling than seeing the face they make when you do incredible things especially when they were not aware you were working on some kind of project

So for this first article of a brand new year, let’s not talk about resolutions (to be honest I don’t have any so that’s why I won’t talk about them), let’s NOT talk about the new you or the new me or anybody/anything new. Let’s do something better: let’s go through the list of things you can do to be a happier person in 2016… wait… does that count as a resolution? Don’t even answer that I don’t want to know… let’s get right into it

1- Smile a lot

I know… I know… it will seems like you are flirting with everybody especially that cute barista at the Starbucks where you regularly get your coffee (hello! Coffee date… Make sure you wink when you say thank you). But the thing is it's scientifically proved that when you smile or laugh, your brain releases hormones that makes you happy and improve your mood. So next time you are tempted to frown or beat yourself up because things are no going the way you want, just smile and let the chemistry of your brain do the magic

2- Do more of what makes you happy

It is the same principle as the smiling trick: doing what you makes you happy releases endorphins which is the feeling good hormone. So whenever you are not feeling good, disconnect from whatever is happening around you and do what makes you happy.

3- Surround yourself with people that make you happy

My parents used to tell me to watch out who I was hanging out with because eventually the behavior and habits of those people will rub off on me. This concept is also applicable to energy: energy rubs off. If somebody is in a bad place emotionally, that person is emitting bad vibes and if you are not able to reverse that energy using your own it will rub off on you. If you are around people who are constantly happy and lift you up, you will benefit from the good vibes they are emitting because yes, happiness is contagious.

4- Go on an adventure

I know that one seems "expensive" and that "you don’t think you can afford it" but it doesn’t have to be now. You can work on it over a period of time and make it happen. It doesn’t have to be overseas: it could be going to another state or to a city you have always wanted to go to. The point is breaking off the routine and taking a breathe of fresh air will do you a lot of good and improve your mood.

5- Take care of yourself.

Now WE women KNOW (emphasis on KNOW) how good it can feel when we just disconnect and just pamper ourselves. Taking care of yourself could be booking an appointment at a spa and pamper yourself. It could be getting your nails done, go shopping, sign up for that Yoga vinyasa class you have been dying to try or even take yourself on a date. Whatever it is, make sure that you sit back and relax and let that “oh my god that feels so good” feeling take over and forget about everything else.

6- Live. Your. Life

People will always talk, always criticize: it is time you learn how to not care so much about people’s opinion. Especially opinion from people who add no value to your life. Just do something for yourself for god’s sake! And stop worrying about the wrong people because the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter won’t mind. So go ahead and live your life.

7- Keep a gratitude journal (or a jar)

This is actually something that I plan on starting this year… NO it is NOT a resolution… Or maybe it is… Is it? Whatever… The point is whenever things are not going in the direction you would have wanted them to, you can just go back to that journal and uplift yourself by reminiscing the things you are grateful about.

You’re welcome.

8- Don’t compare yourself with other people

Comparing yourself with people is the perfect recipe for disaster and depression. Don’t do it. We all have different battles in life and we are all walking a different path. You don’t know when somebody's walk started and most importantly the battle that person had to fight to get where she/he is at now. You cannot compare your beginning with somebody’s middle. So just do your thing and do your best. One day you will make it to the top.

9- Don’t believe everything you see on social media.

Not everything shinny is gold

I'll let you meditate on that one...

10- Forgive, let go and move on

Holding a grudge is not healthy (physically wise and emotionally wise). You cannot live and be happy if you hold onto an emotional baggage that weights you down. It’s like trying to make a boat move knowing that you haven’t lifted the anchor: you will wreck your motor. In this case you will wreck you life and every chance you will have to be happy. Being happy also asks for ability to forgive, let go and move on. If you haven’t done that yet, maybe it’s time you try doing that.

We are through! I hope you were able to find some useful items on that list and that you will actually try some of them. Let me know if you have some more.
xo