Happy Valentines Day... I guess...
This past weekend was all about it. I wanted to put something up but I was recovering from minor health issues and I couldn't be bothered to talk about love when my body felt nothing like it. I spent most of my day at home... Watching movies. I guess that's what you sign up for when you're single right? Just you, your couch and Netflix which is anything I have ever had that resemble closely to a relationship. (Oh God... That sounded so lame...)
And that's probably why most people dread the S word. Those people don't want to hear it or live it, not to mention the fact that they don't want to be it. For some of them being single is like dying: There is nothing after that (I do believe there is a life after death though... But that's me)
How some people react when I am about to drop the S word
I used to be one of those people you know... Dreading the S-word. Running away from it like it was the plague when in fact it wasn't. I was just scared. Scared of what was awaiting for me on the other side, scared of the uncertainty and pain being single would bring to me. The truth is my relationship was everything to me. It was my entire world and I could not think a minute of what my life would be without that man that I loved with all my heart. But just like everything in life, the fairytale ended. Did it hurt? Yes. The pain was excruciating at times and I felt like it would take my breath away but it didn't. I woke up on the other side and something unexpected happened: I discovered that there was a life post breakup. It wasn't what I was used to: it wasn't luxurious as being in the arms of somebody you love and can't imagine your life without; it was painful and plagued with headaches from crying too much and endless nights of looking for answers and not being able to sleep. But it was life. I was still alive.
And then I learnt to do everything all over again. I started spending more time with myself working on myself by myself. I started to discover who I really was. I started exploring the deepest part of my soul I wasn't aware existed and before I realized I was in love with being single. I was alone but not lonely. I gave myself freedom and permission to write my story, the story of my life the way I wanted, with any colored pen I wanted because being single gave me that power. I broke free from the misconception that being single was equating being an unhappy, whinnying young lady that would end up like a bum. Being single gave me a perception of life I didn't have before and I am grateful for that. And I am not ashamed of saying I'm single when friends and acquaintances don't seem to be able to finish their sentences.
Friend: so you're still... *makes a weird face*
Me: what? single?
Friend: *cringes* yes that...
Me :
Besides the fact that people make being single seem like I have an incurable disease or a stage 4 cancer, I don't find it bothersome because some of my most amazing years where the ones where I was single. Do I miss being in a relationship? Sometimes but above everything, I miss having a genuine and true connection. And because I have so many examples of what true love is supposed to be like, I won't settle for anything less than that. I'm working on being happy single so that a relationship can just be the icing on the cake. Everything will happen in due time but until then I'll be living the S life.
xo
