Sorry for the delay in posting the weekly article! Once again I had inspirational issues and as I was not satisfied with the initial topic that was scheduled to be posted, I ended up changing it (Probably not common for you guys but definitely
my routine almost every week). It is very difficult to stay partial when
writing an article on a blog you know… As easy as it seems to hide behind a
screen to tell things that might be very personal, it can be very difficult at
the same time. Why? Well simply because you are sharing a little bit of
yourself, of your life, of your universe with people you don’t necessarily
know. You share a little bit of your joys, angers, frustrations, smiles, tears,
thoughts and fears too. You give them an insight of what your past was like,
what your daily life looks like and what you hope your future will be made of. You
open a window so that they can sneak their heads and see what your world looks
like through your eyes…
More than everything I guess, this is the reason why I am a
blogger and why I enjoy doing what I do. Telling my story and a little bit of other
people’s stories that have been the building blocks of my own life. I love blogging
because I can open up to the world not entirely but just enough to let someone
reading article know that there is someone just like you (okay... almost like you) that is going through or
went through what you are going through right now. Just enough for that person
to know this: there is someone like you somewhere on this earth that is able to
feel your pain and knows exactly how it feels like.
How it feels like to lose a loved one, how it feels like to
lose a job and stay up all night wondering what tomorrow will bring you.
How it feels like to not give up this fight for your life
when the doctors say that you have a 50/50 percent chance of winning against
cancer.
How it feels like to be disappointed about not being
accepted to that college you have been dreaming of going to since you were a
kid.
How it feels to be strong around people and hold your tears all
day to finally let them down while the water is running in your bathroom so
that none can hear you cry and sob…
Or… how it feels to have your heart broken over and over and
get to the point where you are telling yourself “there must be something wrong
with me” and then you wear that armor to protect yourself from being loved by
people who truly deserve a spot in your life and your heart.
But you don’t see that because you have suffered too much,
you don’t believe in love or friendship anymore because you have been hurt/betrayed
too many times, you just gave up and slowly let your heart be filled with resentment,
bitterness, anger… Then time softened your pain but as soon as love knocked at
your door, you yelled “I’m coming” but you ran away using the backdoor.
It is so easy to use excuses for not being happy but let’s
face: it is so difficult to keep up with them! It is so excruciating to stay
mad at someone for a long period of time. At some point it just becomes so
ridiculous to waste that much energy… Well it is at this place that I have
learned how important and powerful forgiveness was. As long as you keep on
being mad at someone who hurt you and at yourself for letting this happened
to you, you will not be able to recover and be happy again. You will carry that
burden everyday of your life and no matter what you do it will always be there.
Not physically of course, but right there in your heart and in your soul you
will constantly feel it. You will always be blaming the whole world and let the
pain kill you softly without anyone being able to help you. Being mad at
someone give that person power over your life. why? Because even though that
person is not with you, just a simple thought of him/her crossing your mind is enough to
f*ck up your entire day and make you miserable. Being mad at yourself will
hold you from living your life at its fullest and will constantly hold you back
from many opportunities you might not come across anymore.
Forgiveness will set
you free and allow you to build something new, start from scratch yet build
something durable. You only live once: don’t make your life revolve around useless pain and sorrows. Make it worth living, go beyond the wounds and the old scars and
take a bet on forgiveness and see how it works. It is hard but it is not impossible, the road
is long but you will get there. Don’t worry about how long it will take, but
take one step at a time. Thank God everyday for that strength he gives you and ask him
to give you more of it as you need it to reach your destination. I am still on
my way and I am sure many of us are too. So don’t be afraid: you are not alone
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