When Church Hurts: [Personal] Tips To Reverse It And Overcome The Spirit Of Offense

Another week, another article: welcome back to the blog and if you are new, welcome. For today’s article, I thought about bouncing back from Less is More, using a few more stories from the Bible that I like but at the last minute, I just switched. I switched because although less is more speaks directly to some of the situations I am going through right now and to the posture of my heart for 2018, the topic that I want to discuss today has been one that I am still learning to apply into my life. Today we will talk a little bit about church hurt and some of the key things you have to understand in order to hopefully recover from it and if not, at least be on your way to recovery.

Walking the walk of Christianity is one of the most difficult thing you will ever do in life. It will be difficult because of the nature of the walk, the efforts and the sacrifices it requires, but more so because it has two components: a personal walk with your Lord and Savior Jesus as well as a walk as part of the body of Christ. So not only are we talking about the Church body of Christ but also the church as a community. So to open this article, let’s first dive into a story that I like a lot and that was not long ago brought up from another angle by Pastor Charles Metcalf from Transformation Church. Let’s look at the story of the good Samaritan in Luke 10: 29-37

“ Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’”

Although I mentioned the whole story, here I am only interested in verses 33-34. When pastor Metcalf preached on this beautiful story, he revealed a truth that I had never perceived before in this story. He revealed the truth of the church being the Inn the Jewish man was left at. When we come from the world to Jesus (the good Samaritan), we come with all kinds of hurt and not necessarily Church appropriate behaviors/personalities that He started soothing, bandaged but that have not healed yet. And sometimes, when we do not carefully manage ourselves or if someone does something inadvertently, the wounds can reopen and start bleeding again. Let’s consider that we are all in that Jewish man's condition: we carry all kind of “hurts” and “sicknesses” that are being taken care of and some of the inappropriate behaviors that are being displayed in church can be categorized as such. The first step in overcoming or attempting a recovery from church hurt is understanding that we are all “sick” as we are all being checked-in at the Inn. Being sick and/or hurt might not be physical: it could be an emotional and/or psychological trauma that has altered our vision and perception of ourselves and others,  leading us to display inappropriate behaviors and say inappropriate things that hurt people. Jesus said in Mark 2: 17

“Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

So being all gathered at the Inn, we are waiting to be visited by the doctor. When you go to the doctor or the emergency room, even if another patient in the waiting room misbehaves and upsets you, knowing the person is in pain just like you should diminish the intensity of your response. It will not excuse it or justify it but at some point you might catch yourself saying : “well… maybe if I was in that much pain or in that position, I would react that way”. Sometimes people say "but they do it for no apparent reason" or , "they’re just jealous", "they’re just envious, evil, liars…" remember those are all heart and/or mental conditions and both qualify as sicknesses. Another thing worth mentioning is that just because you can’t see someone else’s disease doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Sometimes there is a disease but it takes time to figure out what it is so give it time and be understanding and above all do not judge them. So when you know you condition and other people's condition at the Inn (aka the Church as the Body of Christ AND the community), you really can’t be mad at someone who is acting out of their illness. So the first step to overcome/ recover/ attempt a recovery from church hurt can be summed up in this : we all have some kind of illness (emotional, behavioral, psychological) and we all at the Inn, with our respective conditions to be taken care of and some people (more than others) are most likely to act out of their illnesses. Don't take it personally.

The second tip that I have found helpful in overcoming the hurt and the spirit of offense is keeping your eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of your faith (Heb 12:2). Another story I really like and enjoy reading in the Bible and that really speaks volume about the importance of keeping your eyes on Jesus is found in Matthew 14:22-31. It is the story about Peter walking on water. As long as Peter had his eyes on Jesus he was fine. The minute he started looking at everything happening around him, his faith started to fade and fear kicked in: he started sinking. The walk with Christ is a personal one which value is accrued by being around other Christians. But being in community will bring a lot of frictions and tension sometimes because we are all coming from different cultures, traditions or background and [again] we each one have our own conditions. If like Peter, you start (and keep) looking at those things and you let your gaze go left to right, noticing every single wrong doing happening and looking at every single detail of inappropriate behaviors around you, your walk toward Jesus will be hindered. The result will be that you will start sinking. Getting caught up in the mundane behaviors and things that happen in church will only pull you down if you meet people at the level a which they come to you to hurt you, frustrate you, humiliate or break you. Overcoming hurt and the spirit of offense calls for your ability to keep your eyes on Jesus so that you can rise and stay afloat. When you keep your eyes on Jesus you don’t have time for distractions. You don’t have time to look into people’s behaviors. And if you don’t have time for this, your faith and commitment to Christ or the Church (the Body of Christ) cannot be crushed or threatened because you are there for Jesus only and it’s all that matters. But how to you keep and sustain your gaze solely on Jesus? You pray and ask God to help you keep your eyes and focus on Him because if you rely on your own strength you will fail and go from church to church or abandon faith/ your walk with Christ altogether. After asking God for strength, you surrender your heart, mind and emotions to Him and as you do the two above you stay rooted into the Word of God. The more you exercise yourself to these things, the more your spirit will grow and the less you will feel tempted to throw a brick at those coming to you with stick and stone. The more you will practice those things, the more you will allow for the love of God and his Spirit to fill you. When the love of God fills your heart, you have no space for anything else, for no other feelings that is not attached or rooted in love. Being a lover of God and His Word is where it all starts.

The third tip (which is more like tip 2b) is this one : stay in your lane. Recently, I took some time to meditate on the Gospels and study them a little bit and I came upon that verse in John 21:20 which was in a sense a clap back from Jesus *😱*. Jesus had appeared to a few of his disciples for the third time and after eating they were casually talking. And Jesus of course was talking of things to come regarding some of the disciples He was with. And then Peter looked at “the disciple Jesus loved the most” and asked Jesus:

“What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

In the Black Living Translation the equivalent would be : MIND YO’ BUSINESS and STAY IN YOUR LANE. Major clap back from Jesus HIMSELF?! When you are busy doing what the Lord has called you to do, invested heart, mind soul and spirit, you will not have time to clap back at people because you are too busy with God stuff. You got your eyes on the author and finisher of your faith and you know where God has called you to be. So no matter what people do, if you go to God saying “but what about them? What about what they did?” God’s answer will still be the same “ Stay in your lane. Do what I have called you to do” and you better trust and believe that when you will be busy serving God, doing what He has called you to do, STAYING IN YOUR LANE despite the hurt, humiliation brought onto you, God will clap back for you! He hasn’t called you to clap back. He has called you to do his work and be who he wants you to be. People’s actions say a lot about them so you clapping back and doing them the way they do you says nothing about them but more about the kind of person that you are. So are you like the people who hurt you?  Or are you becoming the person God wants you to be? And if you are, are you going to trash all that in order to let anger and pettiness win? It will not turn out well.

When you know God. When you know He is the one to right every wrong. When you know that He is the one who said :

“ I will take revenge; I will pay them back. In due time their feet will slip. Their day of disaster will arrive, and their destiny will overtake them” (Deut 32:35),

no matter how long it takes, you KNOW that YOUR GOD will clap back for you and vindicate you. So you ain’t worried about seeking revenge because God will do that for you. Instead what you do is pray to release the hurt and frustration by surrendering it unto God and you keep moving forward leaning on God for the strength to carry on.

Church hurt is very real but so is God and so is His love and healing and his ability to clap back in His own time. So if you are going through, have been through that, just know that God is there. We aren’t perfect and friction happens but if you are truly doing God’s work with all your heart, giving your all, know that one day no matter how long it takes God will reward you for your good deed and also reward those who did you wrong for their deeds (if they are bringing sorrows your way purposefully). To you God is saying “As for you, follow me”. So keep your eyes on Jesus and follow Him and let nothing come between you and Him because at the end of the day, each one of us will stand for him/herself before God, and the only actions/deeds we will be accountable for are our own. So don’t let someone else’s “illness” or behavior make you stumble.

Hope this helped and encouraged someone.
Until next time,
The Happiness Fairy 👸

Photo credit

My Lost Brothers

The picture above is one of the Granite Mountain Hotshots in Prescott, Arizona. It was taken two weeks before the Yarnell tragedy in which all the crew members, except Brendan McDonough, lost their lives. The picture was taken by Chris Mackenzie who  was also part of the crew and one of the 19 victims. 

Hello and welcome back to the blog! And if you are new welcome! Kick off your shoes, get some tea or coffee and enjoy the reading. I wanted to post my usual, deep and soul food posts but a lot has been happening lately and I just couldn't collect myself enough to write something that made sense when read in a normal voice and not the crazy one. So I thought I would write a book review because I have been doing a lot of reading lately and I have not really posted anything in a while. Today, I am bringing you a book I am really fond of, one that is a real tears jerker but so worth reading because of the beautiful story the author tells. This book is called My Lost Brothers and it is written by Brendan McDonough. It is a story about colleagues, turned into brothers and the terrible loss the author experienced when all the members of his crew perished fighting a wild fire in Yarnell, Arizona. All of them, except him. Now, even though I have been living in the US for close to a decade now and that I was here when the tragedy happened, I knew nothing about it until last year when the movie came out. I had gone to the movie one day and I was patiently waiting for my movie to start when, among the “coming out soon”, I saw the clip of a movie that would haunt me until the day it came out. The movie was titled Only The Brave and it was a motion picture based of this book I am bringing you today. This clip was a few seconds long at best, but long enough to make my heart tip over and break a little.  A few days later when the movie came out, I went to see it and left the theater looking like an emotional mess. So of course I bought the book because, although the job done with the movie was incredible, I wanted to know the whole story and see the big picture and know more about who those people were in real life. As soon as I started reading, I couldn’t put it down: on the train, at home, during lunch in the break room. There was something about that story that captivated my heart and wouldn’t let me stray away. It was heartwarming and beautiful until it turned dark and ugly. Yet, there was beauty in the brokenness, there was something to be gain in the loss: a new perspective on life, on the chances we’re given everyday, on the things we take for granted. When I finished this book, I was in shambles emotionally. Still gathering up myself, I looked up Brendan McDonough on Instagram. I took a look at his feed: my heart sank. Seeing pictures of him and some of his brothers who lost their lives in the Yarnell fire made what seemed so surreal to me, a reality that I could touch, see and feel. I finished this book about two months ago, started writing this review but I couldn't find any words that would do it justice. So I left this review in the back burner until recently where I thought about a story that kind of feels to this: the story of Job in the Bible. Now the Bible says that Job was a righteous man and that God had nothing to reproach him. One day when Satan came to God, God started talking highly of Job and Satan said "I bet if you took everything away from him he'll curse you to your face". God knew Job's heart so He gave satan permission to strip Job of anything that could make him a man of a certain rank/ posture however, satan had no authority to touch his life. So first Job lost his posterity, his richesses and then his good health. He even got to a point where his own friends turn against him saying that he needed to repent, his own wife telling him to curse God and die. He was between a rock and a hard place with no one to turn to.

And in a way the story of Brendan McDonough is similar. He was not a righteous man as in his story, he speaks about how he went from being a drug addict to doing a turn around in life because he wanted to do better for his daughter. Making that choice in life led him to the Mountain Granite Hotshot. The beginnings where hard but eventually he got to a better place in life with the help of his teammates and his supervisor who, according to the story, were respectively the closest thing to brothers and to a father figure he ever had. Now let's open a parenthesis here and introduce the first lesson I got only a few pages into this story: his choice to do better in life. It is not his fault that he did not grow up with a father but as a father himself, he made a choice to turn things around for his daughter and I salute that. we live in a world were not enough men are taught how to act like men and when they do they are not praised enough for that. It is true that it is what they are supposed to do but in a society where men take the easy way out, I wanted to take a minute to praise those men doing the best with what they can, where they are to make sure their children are safe, fed and have a father figure. He made a decision to do better, to do something different, to break a cycle that he grew up in. Our parents deeds and mistakes do not have to be our own, their story do not have to dictate ours: he knew it and he made acted on that truth.

Going back to what I was saying: Brendan McDonough was not a righteous man but he had engaged into a path that brought him closer to creating a better, cleaner life for him and his daughter. The part about his story which is similar to the one of Job is how he lost all of the people he had a bond with, the people who helped him get back on his feet, the people he spent all his time with, in just one day. I mean can you imagine that? All your team wiped out under unfortunate circumstances and you are the lone survivor of that tragedy. I know that I would lose my mind. I did not know them at a personal level but the way the author described his crew members, bringing here and there memories of the time spent with them created a sense of intimacy and feeling of familiarity that makes the loss be felt at a deeper level. And then how he goes on at explaining his battle with depression and suicide, processing the loss/ hurt, turning to God made a few things relevant. The first one is that there is no shame in asking for help. As someone who's sometimes on the forefront of battling depression, we often carry that false impression that we have to save face and that asking for help is admitting defeat, when really it's not. Depression is sometimes the result of not processing adequately emotions that instead of confronting and healing, we burry alive or even ignore thinking that it will make them go away. There is only so much we can do when it come to emotions and how to process them that asking for help in order to develop healthy coping mechanisms and skills is nothing we should be ashamed of. Another thing that was relevant about this book is how Brendan McDonough perspective about being alive shifted from guilt to carrying a legacy. God's ways are unknown and when things happen in a way that is incomprehensible to the human mind, we tend to ask ourselves a whole lot of questions and sometimes even think that God is unfair. Toward the end of the book, the author speaks about how he felt ashamed and guilty of being alive because at the light of how he lived his life in the past, he more than any other of his brothers, should have perished in the fire. He talked about how he was battling suicide and how by overcoming the guilt and learning to look at this grace of being alive, he find a new purpose: carrying the legacy of his lost brother. I can't imagine how hard it would be for anyone to be in a situation like this but I am a firm believer that even in the midst of the most difficult time, there is something in it that God has graced us with and that we can only see when we take our eyes off the situation and keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. And I  personally do believe that this shift in perspective had to do with his ability to build a faith based on a solid relationship with God. There are only so many things we can overcome as humans but a loss this great! A void this big can only be filled by the one we have been engineered and created to run on: God. A solid point to make as a christian and that I could not omit is that Brendan McDonough spoke highly of two of his brothers how had an unshakeable faith and assurance in God that they lived out loud everyday. And he goes on at some point talking about how he desired that too. As Christians how we live our life speaks volumes to people looking at us. It is true that we have to share the Gospel with people but ultimately, beyond the work of conviction that the Holy Spirit does in the heart of the people we introduce to Jesus, it is the testimony of the life we live that is the deciding factor in whether or not they decide to follow Jesus. It is a personal decision but it is greatly influenced by the model we have before our eyes.

A little bit of a long review but all in all, I would say that this book is one of my favorites for this year and should absolutely be on your must read list. Brendan McDonough did a great work at building the story, giving the facts and injecting love and compassion in a story clouded with sadness, overshadowed by grief, loss and heartbreak. It is the beautiful and moving story of a man whose life was turned around for the best. A story about how colleagues became friends and then family, a pledge to have each other’s back no matter what, a commitment to integrity, loyalty and sacrifice even if it means laying your life on the line of duty to save the people who had become your family. It is the story of the Yarnell wildfire told by the lone survivor of this tragedy, the story of a legacy that will be forever carried and remembered whenever the 19 hotshots of the Granite Mountain crew will be mentioned. This book gets an honorable mention hands down. I got my book from Barnes and Nobles in hardcover for about $19 but I am sure you can get it from anywhere and probably for less than that if you look it up.

I hope you enjoyed reading through this review and that you will be getting this book. May God help us all and bless the ones who selflessly put their life on the line of duty so that we can still have our own. May God bless you and keep you safe.

Until next time,
The Happiness Fairy 👸

The Importance Of Seeking God[ly] Counsel: Courtesy Of King Ahab and Jehoshaphat

Welcome back to another article and if you are new here: welcome. As you might have noticed, my themes and articles lately have been revolving around the Bible and God and I know some of y’all are like ugh… not again *insert eyeroll* And I know not everybody is as deep into spirituality as I am, doing the Baptist feet, catching the Holy Ghost and shouting during sermon shaaando! With your hands held high. Aiight… I get it. But this is the authentic me. And if I have to be authentic, you’ll also (on some occasions) be acquainted with that preachy, black lil' mama who gon’ spit Bible bars and keep you woke (or wake you up) on some very important Biblical and spiritual truths. Now let me put out that disclaimer: I AM NOT A PREACHER. I am sharing with you the things that jump at me when I am reading my Bible and spending time in God’s presence that have me like “oooh… my my my” *shakes head and lift hand in the air* (okay.. I’m done now)

So today we’ll look at the story of King Ahab in 1 kings chapter 22:1-39 and use it as the foundation of today’s topic: The importance of seeking God[ly] counsel.
So as usual, I’ll give you a little background story from the NLT (New Living Translation) Bible version and we’ll dibble-dabble a little into the BLT (if you ain’t familiar with this acronym, it stands for the Black Living Translation version. Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of it before, you gon’ learn today what it is)

So at the time the story is taking place, Ahab is king of Israel and for three years he had been in a cease-fire between Aram and Israel. However in the 3rd year, Jehoshaphat (king of Judah) came to visit Ahab. Prior to his visit, Ahab had told his minister: “y’all… can you believe that Ramoth is ours and we haven’t done anything to take it back from Aram?” So when Jehoshaphat showed up, he asked him to come and fight Aram with him and he was like: “say. No. more. Fam! I got you.” they bumped fist and all that (this is all part of the BLT y’all. Don’t go looking for that in your Bible. You’ll find the story but not like that) And after doing all that agreement and fist bumping, Jehoshaphat added this : “But first let’s find out what the Lord says.” (1 kings 22: 5)

Ahab called the prophets (about 400 of them) and asked them if he should go to war to against Ramoth or just lay low and they all agreed and said: “sure! God will give it to you”
But then look at what Jehoshaphat said: “Is there not also a prophet of the Lord here? We should ask him the same question”. Now let’s stop here for a minute: the fact that Jehoshaphat asked that question suggest that: a) he was feeling off about the fact that all the prophets would agree unanimously to let Ahab go to war or b) those prophets were not of the Lord (woooozaaaah. Let that one sink for a second). So Ahab said: “There is one more man who could consult the Lord for us, but I hate him. He never prophesies anything but trouble for me! His name is Micaiah son of Imlah” (verse 8) and to that Jehoshaphat responded : “This is not the way a king should talk! Let’s hear what he has to say” (verse 9). So they went to fetch for Micaiah but once the emissary got to his house he said : “yo man… all of your colleagues agreed to say the same thing: that the king will be victorious. So you better side with them too” (aka “better watch yo' mouth boy!” that’s the BLT version by the way.. Just in case you're wondering). But look at what Micaiah said : “As surely as the Lord lives, I will say only what the Lord tells me to say” (verse 14).

So they went back and then Ahab asked his question again: “Micaiah, should we go to war against Ramoth-gilead, or should we hold back?” and Micaiah responded “Yes, go up and be victorious, for the Lord will give the king victory!” (he was being sarcastic of course... Have a feeling me and him might be related). But then Ahab was like: “boy... how many times do I have to beg you to tell the truth?!” And this is what Micaiah said: “In a vision I saw all Israel scattered on the mountains, like sheep without a shepherd. And the Lord said, ‘Their master has been killed. Send them home in peace” then he proceeded to explain how he saw God in a vision asking in the multitudes surrounding Him, who would inspire Ahab to go to war and thus go to his death and a spirit of false prophecy came forward be like “ I got you! I’ll do that and inspire all the prophets to tell lies” and God was like “very well then! Do that”. But one of the prophets got into bunches and slapped Micaiah *bam* (just like that, in his whole face) and was like : “since when the spirit of the Lord left me to speak to you?” and Micaiah was like : “you’ll figure it out soon enough… when you’ll be running for your life and hiding” (BLT version y’all stick with me) and them Ahab said “LOCK HIM UP UNTIL I COME BACK!” but then Micaiah was like : “tuh… if you come back then the Lord has not spoken!”. Long story short: Jehoshaphat and Ahab went to war, Jehoshaphat almost died for being mistaken for Ahab because he was wearing his clothes (this will be a topic for another article) but he didn’t however, Ahab was randomly hit by an arrow and because the war was violently raging, he couldn’t be evacuated from the battlefield. He died in the evening just as Micaiah prophesied.

So now you’re like… okay gurl… what are we supposed to get away from that story? Well… here are the takeaways that I got from meditating on that story on why it is important to seek God[ly] counsel:


A- They will tell you the truth (1 kings 22: 14)

People who are not led by God will tell you what they feel or what you want to hear and rarely the truth. That's what all of the prophets did except for Micaiah! See, Ahab was irritated about Micaiah because he was saying bad things but then begged him for the truth. The truth will not always be pretty to hear, it won’t be what you want to hear but it will be what you need to hear. And most importantly the truth will set you free. Free from bondage, from sin, from anything that might lead you to a captivity you might (or might not) come back from. God[ly] counsel will bring you what you need, what your spirit and your soul need. I know my best friends don’t tell me what I want to hear. As prayerful as I am, I get blindsided sometimes and those ladies are the mirrors that God placed into my life and that I cannot run away from. They will tell me the truth and not sugarcoat it because they know the truth, they know the Word of God and they know God but most importantly because they love me. If your friends agree with you ALL THE TIME, then ask yourself: “are they really my friends?” and if you are a christian ask yourself : “is the advice they are giving me in alignment with what the world of God says? Is it in agreement with the will and purpose of God for me and my life? Will these advices bring something positive into my life or will it lead me to chaos, tears, heartaches and headaches?” No judgment. No heat. Just a few questions to evaluate the quality of your circle because who you are around can make or break you and your destiny.


B- Your life might depend on it

You get the full picture from that story and I don’t think I need to say more. Had Ahab listen to his God[ly] counsel perhaps his end would had been different. But there is not certitude to it as the Bible said in verse 23 : “So you see, the Lord has put a lying spirit in the mouths of all your prophets. For the Lord has pronounced your doom”. Who is in your counsel? Who are they getting their counsel from? Next time you run to them for advice and counsel, ask yourself that question first (I say you but really I'm in that one too). Not judging, just helping


C- It will prevent you from getting into situation that might cost you

Although I admire Jehoshaphat for his wisdom when it came to consulting the Lord before going to war, I was distraught by the fact that he did not consult God before getting into association with Ahab. This is what the Bible says about Jehoshaphat in 2 chronicles 17:3 : “The Lord was with Jehoshaphat because he followed the example of his father’s early years and did not worship the images of Baal”. However, it was a different story for Ahab: the Bible says in 1 Kings 16: 30 that “ Ahab son of Omri did what was evil in the Lord’s sight, even more than any of the kings before him. And as though it were not enough to follow the sinful example of Jeroboam, he married Jezebel, the daughter of King Ethbaal of the Sidonians, and he began to bow down in worship of Baal.” So my first question when comparing those two people was : why even associate yourself with someone like that and agree to go to war with him?! The Bible says that before choosing his disciples Jesus prayed. He sought God’s counsel to choose who He was supposed to be surrounded with (sidenote: People could argue that Jesus chose wrong because He picked Juda Iscariot who would betray Him later but! it was part of God’s divine set up. It is the perfect representation of what Roman 8:28 means: this had to happen so that the prophecies about Jesus could be accomplished and humanity could receive salvation). But, because Jehoshaphat FAILED to consult God before getting in association with a man that stood before God as an abomination, he almost lost his life. What happened to Jehoshaphat was grace. It could be that God saved his life because at some point, his heart was straight and he was walking in the commands of the Lord? Can't tell for sure. How many of us pray to seek the will of God regarding the people that walk into our lives? Just because they walk in doesn’t mean God sent them. They are there for a purpose, true, but whose purpose? God or the devil? Had Jehoshaphat consulted God in the first place, he would have probably not agreed to Ahab proposal and perhaps not found himself in a situation that could have cost him his life. So next time someone steps into our life, maybe we should pray about it, seek God’s will and wonder if the presence of that person in our life has been orchestrated by God. And if you are genuine about that, God will speak to you. Maybe not directly but He will: through that person’s character, through signs, through what the people around you think of that particular person. God will give you conviction about whether or not that person has been divinely sent and positioned into your life but you have to pay attention! Don’t dismiss the response to your prayer the way Ahab and Jehoshaphat did. If you ask and you get a response, don’t walk or act like you don’t know when you do know. Act and walk based on what the Lord has told you and showed you.


That's all for today y'all. Hope it was fun to read and entertaining but most importantly, I hope it gave you a new perspective on why seeking God[ly] counsel is important.

Until next time,

The Happiness Fairy 👸

Less Is More: A lesson by King David

Hello and welcome back to the blog. If you are new : welcome to the tribe. A new article but still bouncing back on the topic of feeling inadequate, this time looking at another angle. And for that angle I have chose to go to my favorite book: the Bible. *exciting*

So there was that guy in the Bible named David who obviously was so inadequate that when Samuel came into his father’s house on the order of God to anoint the new king of Israel, He was omitted. His father had thought of all of his sons except him and even Samuel upon seeing Eliab in as mentioned in 1 Samuel 16: 6 thought "Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord". But God had his eyes and heart set on someone else, he had chosen someone that was deemed inadequate by men because there was a mission God needed him for, that only him could adequately complete. So then when Samuel and Jesse (David’s father) ran out of “adequate” people for the position of king, Samuel was like… "so… that’s it?" (this is the BLT version... Black Living Translation version, we will go back to that version many times during the course of this article. I play too much😩😂) And his dad was like… well… I got another boy but eh… he’s watching over the sheep  (which in the BLT version means "he’s good at nothing so I just put him there. He might as well do that you know…") and Samuel said "aiight go get him". So someone went to get him now look at what the Bible say about him in in verse 12: "He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features." as soon as Samuel saw David, God said "That him" (major Key that I will discuss in another article). Samuel anointed him and after he was done, went back to his house. Fast forward to 1 Samuel 17, that will be the focus of the article (well the last two parts). Here is the background story: the Philistines had come to fight the army of Israel. Amongst the philistines soldiers, there was a guy named Goliath which it is said was "a Philistine champion from Gath.[...] He was over nine feet tall! He wore a bronze helmet, and his bronze coat of mail weighed 125 pounds. He also wore bronze leg armor, and he carried a bronze javelin on his shoulder. The shaft of his spear was as heavy and thick as a weaver’s beam, tipped with an iron spearhead that weighed 15 pounds. His armor bearer walked ahead of him carrying a shield." In one word: he is the definition of what Hulk would look like in real life and he was not there to play games y'all: he was there to smash! The Bible says for 40 days, morning and evening, he would dare the Israelites to pick a man to fight him but none of them would come forward because all were afraid and feeling inadequate to fight him (even though we can all agree they had been trained to fight and had the skills going to war required).


So one day, David’s father sent him to bring food to his brothers who were in the army and fighting alongside Saul and check on them so David is like... "Aiight dad. cool" David goes and just as he gets into the camp, Goliath is starting his "I double dare you" game *insert eyeroll*. The Israelites ran for cover and as they did, some ran into David and gave him a debrief of the current situation (1samuel 17:25) : “Have you seen the giant?” the men asked. “He comes out each day to defy Israel. The king has offered a huge reward to anyone who kills him. He will give that man one of his daughters for a wife, and the man’s entire family will be exempted from paying taxes!” David asked a couple more questions to people who gave him the same answer and in the middle of his enquiries, he was heard by his oldest brother. Of course he was like “why are you here? Ain’t you supposed to be watching over your sheep? (stands for: “you got nothing to do here. Go back to your lame place and leave us the important people do our thing”) I know how you are: just trying to be nosey ain’t you?”
David was like “Dude… I was just asking a question” *insert shoulders shrug *
He paid no mind and kept asking the same question over and over until his interest was mentioned to Saul, who fetched for him. As soon as David got to the King he was like “fam, I got you. I’m going to fight him” and here is what the Bible (for real now) said the response of Saul was: “Don’t be ridiculous!” Saul replied. “There’s no way you can fight this Philistine and possibly win! You’re only a boy, and he’s been a man of war since his youth” (1 Sam 17: 33; NLT)

David then went to explain how the Lord had been with him when watching over his father’s sheep and how he had fought and defeated wild animal with bare hands. So Saul was like “ aiight.” He gave David his warfare equipment and after David tried it on, He said : “I can’t go in these. I’m not used to them” (in the words of the BLT : “nope. Can’t wear this. Not my style"). So he got rid of everything, and pick only the weapons he knew best: his slingshot, his stones and his staff.
David went to Goliath who, offended by the simplicity of his war equipment, cursed him by his gods. To that David replied: “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, 47 and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hand” (1 Sam 17: 45-47). Goliath started moving toward David, but that kid knew how to run and before Goliath could reach him, David got a stone into his bag, slung it and struck Goliath on his forehead: he fell face down on the ground, dead.

Here are the big lessons of the stories that stuck with me and that I would like to share:

A- You might feel inadequate but God knows why he put you there

As a king you lead the army to battle. You lead by example. The Bible says that Saul was discouraged by the words of Goliath and so were his people. Him as well as his soldiers were trained and had the experience to fight battle but on that day, it was the man that people had deemed inadequate that showed up to lead Israel into victory. David had been anointed for that day. God had purposefully sent David on that particular day to the came because he had already chose him for that mission. God put you where you are for a mission: there will be a time where you and only you will be able to provide something that will be lacking into your environment and that people will desperately need. Stay where you are and wait for God to orchestrate the biggest breakthrough that will lead you into your divine destiny and purpose.

B- Less is more

Allow me to quickly let you into something: before 2017 ended, I was strongly feeling that I had too much going on: I was trying to do everything, be everything, have everything and take on everything. And then while I was praying and seeking God for 2018, I started strongly leaning toward the fact that less was more and so I decided to drop things, people, emotions and even advices/borrowed experiences that were weighing me down and preventing me to stride into my purpose, my greatness and God’s plans for me. David did the same thing: Saul gave him HIS equipment to go fight but David wasn’t used to it. David had fought before, but not the way Saul had: Saul had been doing it for the longest time and David was debuting and so, by lending him his equipment, Saul thought he was doing good when really he was making matter worse. Isn’t what the people around us do when we have to fight Goliath for the first time in out life (whatever Goliath represent)? They give us all kind of equipment and advices justifying it with : “trust me I’ve been there before and I have used this/ done this/ said this. It worked out perfectly” but just because it worked for them doesn’t mean it will work for us. I used to be one of those people too, until the day I figured that we are all walking different paths and even though our Goliaths look alike, there are variations to them and we are at different levels in our warfare training/ experience. So I stopped telling people what to do and I have encouraged them to find what worked for them. Not only that but less is more because when you have less, God can get the spotlight because people can clearly see that you don’t have what it takes to take Goliath down and when they will ask in bewilderment, you can say that you are ordinary but you have the name of an extraordinary God stamped all over you and your life. Had David chosen to wear all that unnecessary equipment he was not used to, he would have had to sustain it on his own and spend a great deal of energy, but because he trusted in God (Prov 3:5-6), He in turn gave David an outstanding and effortless victory. Who you are is enough and definitely God is more than enough and all you need to win all your battle.


C- Any battle involves a spiritual aspect

The biggest lie of the enemy in this century is to make people believe that what they are going through in everyday life is just what the eyes can see. But what we see in the physical realm is governed by what happen in the supernatural. Before the battle started, Goliath cursed David by his gods but David made a proclamation that also involved God. we see clearly that they both represented two distinct sides spiritually and before the fight even started in the physical world there had already been a battle of the Gods. The tone and issue of the battle had already been set spiritually. Don’t be fooled: spiritual warfare is real and we have been given weapons (Eph 6:12) to triumph spiritually first according to 2 Co 10: 3- 4 : " For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds". The best summary of this point is definitely the movie The war room (go watch it you will thank me later)

This is a bit of a lengthy article but I hope that it will help, encourage and build someone.

Until next time,
The Happiness Fairy 👸

From Fiction To Life Lessons, A Courtesy Of King Arthur (Part 2)

Hello and welcome back to the blog and if you are new: Welcome! I was planning on writing on a totally different topic but after my previous post went up and after watching kind Arthur a few more times (yes... you read that right) something very important popped up into my mind and I thought I would expand a little more on it rather than make it a bullet point. Today we are going to talk about feeling inadequate. There are many examples of people who felt or are feeling inadequate and for each of these examples, I am sure there are different endings to their stories. In the case of King Arthur, his inadequacy was manifested (in the movie of course... Gotta watch it) at three specific times in the form of denial. Denial of his identity, denial of his purpose, denial of the responsibilities that came with the previous two. However, his found ability to make peace with the truth of who he was and take upon him the responsibility that came with his purpose and identity turned the narrative of his story around. But unlike King Artur, many of us still fail to come to term with our feeling of inadequacy not in order to just let it be just that, but in order to acknowledge it and use it as a fuel to turn our narrative around. And because we fail so successfully at correcting the shot, a lot of us have squandered  what we have been given by God, negated the purpose/ assignment placed on our life but most importantly, we have forfeited the lives of the people whose outcome in life is tied to us walking into our purpose.

I know a lot about feeling inadequate. It is a feeling that I have carried with me ever since I was a child and it has been a burden. Everywhere I went, I felt like I was out of place. It was a very miserable feeling that made me squander and at time sabotage good things happening into my life instead of appreciating them. And it is not until very recently that I understood that there are two kinds of reactions one can have about that feeling: a) acknowledge it and doing to work necessary to grow in the area (s) where you feel inadequate or b) let that feeling swallow you entirely and throw your life to waste. The second choice is always the easiest one because who doesn't like easy? 

But let me tell you this : no matter how inadequate you feel, you are where you are today because you have potential and abilities. The reason why you are where you are is because there is something that you and only you can accomplish. Perhaps you think someone can do it better which is probably true, but it doesn't guarantee that the result will be the same, that the impact that person will have will be the same, that the reach they will have will be the same. And if God wanted that person to be there, it would be him/her and not you. Sometimes the place you are at, where you feel so inadequate is the place God wants you to be at in order for you to grow to move into your next season or into the next big thing He has for you or perhaps He simply want you there so that He can create for you a life someone will look at tomorrow to be encouraged; and who knows how big the ripple effect will be? 

There are a lot of loads that I have carried the wrong way and feeling inadequate it one of them because a) I was trying to be like everybody else, b) I let what I saw and felt get into the way of what my purpose was at different stage of my life, c) I approached this feeling the wrong way. So my advice to someone reading this, someone feeling out of place/inadequate: a) be you. The real you because there is something God wants to do in the world and in someone's life with your true identity; b) there is purpose into all those places where you don't feel at ease. If God put you there purposefully then trust Him and surrender what you feel to Him. I know it is frustrating but God knows how to turn things around; c) instead of hating that place or season of your life you are in where you feel so inadequate approach it a different way: ask God what is it in this place, job, season of life that I need to learn? to master or even to get rid of? because sometimes what we gain is what we lose. Ask God to order your steps and be genuinely willing to let Him show you the way. Changing your approach will make you focus less on being inadequate and more on growing, learning and getting the tools you need to move successfully into your next season or higher place. 

Hope this helps somebody. 

Until next time,

The Happiness Fairy 👸